


Cheerleader

by SilvermistNightray



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Shoujo Manga clichés, Story of Self-Discovery, awkward romances, this actually my first fanfic for this fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-05-21 23:17:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 32,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6061801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilvermistNightray/pseuds/SilvermistNightray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Tachibana Makoto is a quiet library assistant and all he wants to do is survive university without drawing attention to himself. Yamazaki Sousuke isn't making that easy for him. Not at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Two for One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Steamroller](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/177304) by Mary Calmes. 



> I'm actually quite nervous about this. I have never written anything for SouMako, but since its my ultimate guilty pleasure OTP, I just had to. 
> 
> This work is heavily based on Mary Calmes work "Steamroller". She's one of my favorite writers and I so love her work.

It was the week before Christmas, which was great and all considering the Christmas cheer dancing in the air and the beautiful decorations set up in shops littering central Tokyo, but all young Makoto Tachibana would even consider being excited about was the possibility of getting some sleep when he reached his apartment. Looking back at when he first got the job as an assistant librarian at the public library near his university, he didn't think he'd end up dead on his feet.

That was before his childhood best friend and roommate, Haruka Nanase, ditched him to go live with his boyfriend. When Haruka still lived with him, Makoto still had time to enjoy himself between his job and his classes. But, now that he was paying for rent all by himself, he didn't have the luxury of free time. Even the weekend swimming sessions, a tradition for him and Haruka since middle school, stopped. He was sure Haruka still swam, nothing in the world was able to keep him away from water after all, but Makoto just didn't have the time to do it anymore.

To top it all off, the Head Librarian was on maternity leave and wasn't going to be back till the first week of February. This basically put Makoto in charge of the library, the only other assistant librarians present being a young blonde kid and a cute redhead that Makoto was sure couldn't handle being alone in the place. The blonde kid, Nagisa Hazuki, talked too much and tended to annoy some of the other patrons. The redhead, Gou Matsuoka, worked well but often got distracted for some strange reason. Makoto's options came down to quitting or enduring. Since he needed the money for things like keeping a roof over his head and food in his stomach, he endured.

He worked through all his days off last week to earn enough money for a train ride home, and worked even more overtime the week before that to be able to pay rent. By the time the Friday before Christmas rolled in, Makoto was running on autopilot, which meant he missed the clearly aggressive tone of the man in front of him.

"What do you mean you don't have it?!" He growled, causing Gou to flinch from where she was standing behind Makoto's chair. "This is a library, you have to have it!"

Makoto focused on the red cap the guy was wearing instead of his urge to pass out. "I'm really sorry sir, but someone already borrowed our last copy of that book." He explained. "We only have three copies of that book, the last of which has been borrowed this morning, and we're not getting them back until after the New Years."

"You only have three copies?!"

"It's a miracle we even _have_ three copies."

Makoto sighed as the man turned his attention to Nagisa, leaning on the desk and looking as bored as ever. "I mean, what library has more than one copy of the same book? It's not like we're a bookstore or something like that." Nagisa continued, much to Makoto's dismay. "Hey, maybe one of them has finished their project by now and is on their way to return the book! You could always wait for them!"

Makoto considered the suggestion, rubbing his watery eyes behind his glasses. "That is an option." He agreed, making the guy angrier. "The project was given last week, there's a chance one of them has finished already. If you want sir, you can leave us your number and we'll contact you once we have it."

"If you know about the project, then you know how important this is!" The guy replied, the muscles in his jaw cording with his effort of keeping himself calm. "Half my grade is at stake here. Come on. I know you have info on the people that borrowed the book. Call them up and tell them someone needs to borrow it."

Makoto raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, call them." The smug guy repeated. "Or just tell me who they are, I'll talk to them. I'm pretty sure they'll understand once I tell them who needs it."

"We can't just do that, sir." Makoto replied slowly. "There are rules in this library about giving up information about its patrons. If you really need it, I suggest you finding out if there are any EBooks online."

"But I-"

"EBooks." Makoto reiterated, just about to get annoyed. "Gou here can show you where the computers are, you can download EBooks from there."

"I don't even know where to fucking download-"

"Then Google it." Makoto dismissed, going back to what he was doing before the young man built like a refrigerator interrupted him by barging in. "Gou, if you please."

Gou stepped up from behind him, offering the now red-faced man a nervous smile. "If you would follow me, sir, the computers are-"

"Oh for fuck's sake, just tell me who borrowed the fucking book!" The man finally screamed, Gou freezing in place and Nagisa sitting up straighter.

Makoto stood up to his full height and crossed his arms over his broad chest. "Sir, no yelling in the library." He said, voice low, his green eyes devoid of the usual sparkle they possessed.

Makoto had a good three or four inches over the yelling refrigerator, causing him to look up to meet Makoto's gaze. He opened his mouth to say something when another voice cut in.

"Wait."

They turned, and another man was approaching the desk, his long strides bringing him next to the first man in a matter of seconds. He was tall, even taller than Makoto's own 6'1", with tousled black hair he hid behind a baseball cap. The black shirt he was wearing hugged his physique tightly, showing off well-defined biceps, triceps, and a  broad chest that made Makoto swallow around the lump in his throat. Makoto blinked, confused at the reaction he was having. He must really be tired.

"Hold up, Hanazawa, you don't really need to yell." The hottie spoke, his voice deep and smoky, doing really strange things to Makoto's tired brain. "This is a library, you know."

The refrigerator - Hanazawa - lowered his voice, but not by much. "They don't have the book."

The hottie turned to look at Makoto, one dark eyebrow raised above the sunglasses he wore. "You don't have it? This is a library."

"Mako-chan already told your friend Hana-chan here that someone already borrowed it." Nagisa piped up, leaning on the desk again. "We suggested you go find an Ebook, but Hana-chan thought he could convince the people who borrowed the book to return it."

"What did you call me?"

"Hanazawa." The hottie cautioned, placing his right arm on the desk to lean towards Makoto. "I'm sorry for Hanazawa, but we both really need this book. There's this project and-"

"I know about the project." Makoto replied, trying to hide how the man's closeness was affecting him. "I'm a junior at Samezuka University too, so I know about the project, sir. "

"Oh. Then you know how important this-"

"Yes, I do."

"So can you please-"

"No." Makoto refused, shoulders slumping. "I just can't give you their names and contacts, it's against the rule."

"Then what else do you suggest, Glasses?" The hottie asked, voice edged with irritation, finally leaning away from Makoto.

"As I said earlier, as Nagisa recapped for you earlier, I suggest you and your friend download an EBook version of it." Makoto was glad his voice remained calm, despite everything. "There are computers here, you can download it. Gou will help."

"It's pretty easy!" Gou chimed in, smiling. "It's quite a popular educational book, so there should be a couple sites giving it out for free."

"But that's gonna take time, and we have to write the report itself-"

"What took you so long to start a project given last week?" Makoto asked, effectively silencing the conversation.

After about a minute of awkward silence, the raven-haired hottie spoke again. "We've been having non-stop practice. A game's coming up, if you didn't know."

"Oh. Football team?"

"Yeah. Captain Mikoshiba's been pushing us as hard as the coach is." The hottie explained, looking a little sheepish. "If we weren't playing against a rival, it wouldn't be this intense. So, yeah, we were pressed for time..."

"I'm sorry if you're tired, really." Makoto sighed. "But I just can't go against library rules..."

"Alright, can you just-"

"If you have a phone with you right now, I can give you my own EBook copy." Makoto finally gave in, shoulders sagging in defeat.

The two men looked at him in surprise, Gou and Nagisa hiding their knowing smiles behind their hands. "I have a phone." Hanazawa spoke up after a minute, showing Makoto his phone.

"Turn on your Bluetooth, please." Makoto sat back down on his chair, grabbing his laptop from one of the drawers and booting it up. Checking his Bluetooth, he connected with Hanazawa's device, sending him a copy of the EBook. "Did you receive it?"

"Yeah." The jock replied, turning off his Bluetooth as Makoto shut off his laptop.

"Well, you've got your book." Makoto said, looking up at them. "Is there anything else we can do for you, sir?"

The raven-haired hottie smiled, effectively shutting down Makoto's brain. "Thanks, Glasses." He smirked, leaving Makoto gaping as they walked out the door.

"So..." Nagisa began, scooting closer to Makoto. "Glasses?"

Makoto blushed as Gou giggled. "He was pretty cute, right?" she nudged his shoulder. "And did you see all that muscle? Such beautiful triceps and biceps, not to mention the perfectly carved pectorals, and the deltoids and-"

"Oh, but his voice! All deep and serious." Nagisa cleared his throat, fuchsia eyes dancing. "'Then what else do you suggest, Glasses?'"

Makoto groaned, hiding his face in his hands. "Was it that obvious?"

"Not really, Mako-chan." Nagisa assured him. "Unless he was looking really closely, I don't think he could tell!"

 "Nagisa's right." Gou agreed, patting his back. "The two of us work with you, so of course we'd notice. You practically stopped breathing when he leaned in close to you!"

Makoto blushed even harder, sinking into his chair. "He was attractive, okay, I admit that."

"He was more than just _attractive_. All that gorgeous muscle..." Gou sighed dreamily, hand over her heart. "And I didn't even get to see his back, or his legs."

Nagisa shrugged, leaning back as a girl with a bun approached them. "He's not really my type." He told Gou, smiling as the girl asked if she could borrow a book.

Gou laughed, leaning against the back of Makoto's chair. "I suspect your type is along the lines of blue hair, violet eyes, and glasses?"

Nagisa finished checking out the young girls book, turning to look at Gou with an even bigger smile on his face. "I actually got his name this time."

Makoto was surprised, turning to look at the smaller blond. "He told you his name?"

"Huh. You must have finally gotten through to him." Gou said. "Though it did take a week of you following him around..."

"It was worth it, though!" Nagisa chirped, clearly happy. "I found out we're both sophomores, which gives me the perfect excuse to bother him about events or meetings or stuff like that, which means I might be getting his number too."

"You're evil." Gou giggled. "Seriously evil. Are you aware of that?"

Nagisa laughed, scooting closer to Makoto again. "Oh, Mako-chan, I need a small favor."

Both Makoto and Gou sighed, knowing favors for Nagisa were anything but small. Last time he asked for one it ended with Makoto dressed up in what could only be a French maid outfit, surrounded by Nagisa's giggling older sisters trying to take dozens of pictures of him. Needless to say he begged the Hazuki sisters to keep those pictures as far away from him as possible.

But Nagisa was a friend, and Makoto could never say no to a friend. "Okay. What is it?"

Nagisa practically beamed. "Thank you thank you thank you thank you, Mako-chan!" he squealed, giving him a sideways hug. "And don't worry, it doesn't involve my sisters at all! Well, hmmm, it kind of does, but not in that way! I haven't done Christmas shopping yet, and doing it by myself is pretty boring, so I was wondering if you could come with me!"

Makoto's plans of crashing into bed early seemed to drift farther and farther away from him. He had specifically chosen to shop for presents on the first week of December, right after he paid rent, knowing that was the only time he had a little extra to spend. Also, it meant less shoppers than the week before Christmas itself, which apparently Nagisa thought was a good time to shop. Before Makoto could open his mouth to say something though, Gou interrupted.

"Oh! I haven't bought my big brother anything yet, either! I think I'll come with you, boys."

"That's perfect!" Nagisa agreed. "I'm buying things for my sisters too, so it's pretty good to have an actual girl with us. If you need help getting things for your brother, you can always ask us too!"

Makoto sighed, resigning himself to Christmas Shopping Hell. The Library was going to close early, and they didn't need to be back till after the New Years, so he could still catch the sleep he'd been missing. How hard was it so shop for Christmas presents anyway?

* * *

Makoto offered a small wave of goodbye to Gou and Nagisa as they got into the bus that would take them back to the University dorms. They both waved back at him as he made his way to his own apartment not far from where they had ended their little shopping spree. His place was a twenty minute walk from the University, but he really didn't mind. Walking saved him transportation expenses, and he actually enjoyed taking in the scenery by foot.

He pulled the hood of his over-sized green parka over his mess of brown hair, burying his face in the red scarf his Mother had sewn for him before he went off for college. It was getting pretty cold in Tokyo lately, meaning Makoto had to go through all the warm clothes his Mother had slipped into his luggage the last time he visited. He couldn't help but smile when he remembered how much he had to apologize to his younger twin siblings for not coming home the year before, compensating a year of his absence by telling them all about  life in Tokyo.

Thinking about home got him thinking about Haruka, and he wondered if he was doing okay. He and Haruka met when they were in elementary school, and since they lived in the same neighborhood, walked home together almost every day. Haruka's parents were seldom home, so he liked going over to Makoto's house to play video games. He came over so often that the twins had considered him as their other big brother. Makoto met Haruka's parents from time to time, but seeing as he was the raven-haired boy's only friend, the Nanases easily accepted him to their fold. Makoto considered them to be pretty much inseparable, even being part of the same swim team up until they graduated high school.

They rented the apartment together because Haruka's parents offered to pay for his half while Makoto worked part-time at a coffee shop to pay for the other. It was good arrangement for two country boys in the city, and Makoto thought they could keep it up till both of them finished college.

But Haruka met someone their sophomore year, and right before junior year started, he had confessed to Makoto that his boyfriend wanted him to move in. The boyfriend in question, Gou's older brother Rin, personally came to introduce himself to Makoto and ask if he would be alright with Haruka leaving. The whole encounter was awkward for Makoto, mostly because his best friend's boyfriend talked to him like he was Haruka's Father and he was asking for his son's hand in marriage. Makoto agreed despite knowing he couldn't afford the rent all by himself, but he saw that Haruka was truly happy, and he really didn't want to stand in the way of his best friend's happiness.

The day Haruka moved out was the day he quit his part-time job at the coffee shop and applied for a full-time one at the public library. They still hung out together when the other was free, and sometimes Rin invited Makoto over to their place for dinner or a round of video games. Rin had become one of his closest friends, but Makoto couldn't help the knot in his stomach from forming whenever he and Haruka became lovey-dovey.

He wasn't jealous of Rin.

He wasn't jealous of Haruka, either.

He was just, well... He just wanted a relationship like the one they had.

The thought caused him to giggle rather loudly in the middle of the street, catching the attention of a young man in a black shirt and trench coat.

"Glasses?"

Makoto froze, involuntarily shuddering at the memory that one word conjured up. Thankful that he could blame the cold for his actions, he turned and saw the man who never left his mind since that afternoon.

"Hey. I thought it was you." The man smiled, taking a step closer. "What's got you out so late, I thought the library was closed?"

Makoto was confused. "How did you know the library was closed?"

The man looked sheepish as he scratched the back of his head. "Well, I kinda went back to say thank you for giving us the EBook. Didn't know you guys closed early on Fridays."

"It _is_ the Friday before Christmas." Makoto explained. "We usually close around ten during normal Fridays and nine on Saturdays. But on days before holidays we close at seven."

The man nodded and Makoto couldn't help but notice that he was still wearing the sunglasses and baseball cap. Makoto wondered what the sunglasses were for, seeing as it was already dark out. "It's nice to know when the library's open." The man commented, stepping even closer. "Are you working there every day or do I have to wait till Friday to see you?"

Makoto hoped he could still blame the cold for the harsh blush on his cheeks. "Uh, um..." he mumbled as the guy stepped into his personal space, causing Makoto to tip his head back a little to look up at him.

Look up. Huh. That was new.

"Only Fridays or?"

"Oh!" Makoto exclaimed, remembering that he was actually asked a question. "Oh, um, I work every day of the week except Saturdays and Sundays."

"I see. So I get to see you on Monday?"

"Not this Monday." Makoto replied a little quickly, his breath almost catching. The man radiated heat just standing there, causing Makoto's brain to dive head first into the gutter. "The library won't be open again until after New Years."

"That's a long time, isn't it?" The man frowned.

"Not really, since most of the staff are going home for the Holidays." Makoto replied. "Most of the students will be home too, I guess, meaning if the library did open it would be completely empty."

"Nah, I don't think it's gonna be _completely_ empty..." The man began, looking Makoto over from head to toe. "I'd be there."

Makoto chuckled nervously, eyes darting to the ground. His shoes were suddenly very interesting, at least more interesting than the very attractive stranger in front of him. "You must really like books if you plan to spend your holidays in an empty library."

"I don't think it's the books I really like."

The man lowered his voice an octave, leaning forward so he could whisper the words into Makoto's ear. Makoto couldn't control the shudder than ran through his body, and if he had looked up, he could have seen the way the stranger's body stiffened at the reaction.

There was a moment of awkward silence as both men tried to rein in their desires, and after a minute, the stranger finally spoke again. "Suppose I'll see around elsewhere, huh?"

Makoto nodded numbly, still refusing to meet the stranger's gaze even if they were shielded behind dark shades. He stared at the stranger's shoes, his eyes following them until they took a turn in the corner and he couldn't see them anymore.

* * *

Makoto couldn't really remember how he managed to get home, but at least he made it to his bed before the stress of the past few days caught up with him and he collapsed. He woke up early the next morning, which really wasn't the plan, but he was in yesterday's clothes and the sweat was making him uncomfortable. He groaned, sliding off the bed, landing butt first on the soft carpet of his bedroom.

He stood up to stretch, yawning in the process. He took his sweet time getting changed into a pair of sweatpants and a large shirt. He supposed he should have taken a shower, but he had all day to spend at home, so he postponed his shower for the afternoon. Besides, he just woke up, which meant he was basically a mindless zombie.

It wasn't until he finished a cup of coffee that he was awake. He made himself a plate of pancakes and eggs before walking over to the small table pushed against the wall of the kitchen. His phone rang half-way through breakfast, startling him. It was early, not even eight yet, and he really wasn't expecting a call.

When he checked Caller ID he was even more surprised. Sliding his phone to "call", he leaned his arms on the table and waited for his best friend to speak first.

"Is it too early, Makoto?"

It was very Haruka, getting right down to business, not even bothering to say "hello". It put a small smile to Makoto's face.

"Not really, Haru. I was in the middle of breakfast."

"Good." There was a pause, then the sound of paper. "Rin's off to practice right now. He won't be done 'till this afternoon."

"Oh." Makoto yawned again, idly picking at his scrambled eggs. "So you're free this morning?"

"Yeah."

"Are we going swimming, then?"

"No."

Makoto paused. "No?"

"No. I..." There was the sound of paper again, followed by what sounded like Haruka pacing. "I haven't bought Rin a gift yet."

It took Makoto a second to process, and when it clicked, he couldn't stop giggling. He had to hold the phone away for a minute to control himself.

"It's not that funny, Makoto." Haruka mumbled. Makoto could tell he was probably frowning, but it still didn't lessen how silly it was that Haruka was so serious about a gift for his boyfriend.

"Sorry, Haru." He took a breath, bringing the phone to his ear again. "Does this mean you need my help shopping?"

"No..." Haruka began, and Makoto could hear the sound of paper being crumpled. "Yes."

"Haru... The paper you just crumpled, was it a list of possible gifts for Rin?"

"... Maybe."

"It _was_ a list."

"It wasn't a _long_ list. It had three items, nothing more."

"Was one of them mackerel?"

Silence.

"Haru!"

"Mackerel is rich in Omega 3 and good for the heart. Rin needs it. He has a game coming up."

Makoto could imagine Haruka leaning on a wall, arms crossed over his chest, an annoyed expression on his face as he defended his love for mackerel. It made him let out a sigh. Some things never changed.

"Do you want me to tell you what Gou got him?"

"Yes."

"She got him a sports bag for his jersey and other things."

"I won't get him a sports bag."

"Of course you won't, Haru."

There was silence again, signaling Makoto that his best friend was thinking. He had to interrupt or else Haruka was going to over think again. "So... I'll meet you in front of Gorou's Pizza?"

"... Yes."

"Nine?"

"Yes."

"Okay. See you later Haru."

Silence.

"Makoto?"

"Yes?"

"... Thank you."

He smiled as he pressed "end call". He'd already ruined his lazy Saturday by waking up too early, might as well throw his plans completely out the window and spend the day with his best friend.

* * *

"I'm getting this."

Makoto offered the young saleslady a shy smile as Haruka pointed to a long silver chain in the display. It hadn't even been five minutes since the two men had met in front of Gorou's Pizza, Haruka immediately walking towards the jewelry store across the street once he knew Makoto caught sight of him. Apparently Haruka already had a gift in mind, and Makoto was simply there to provide a second opinion.

"A lovely choice, sir." The saleslady said, smiling back at Makoto. "It's a bit masculine for a girlfriend, though. Might I suggest the silver butterfly one?"

Makoto opened his mouth to say something, but Haruka interrupted.

"It's for my boyfriend."

The poor saleslady's eyes widened. "Oh." She blinked, a small smile forming on her lips as she looked at Makoto again. "Oh. Of course."

Makoto blushed, shaking his head. "No, no. I'm not his boyfriend. I'm just a friend"

"Makoto isn't my boyfriend."

The saleslady let out a giggle at Haruka's serious tone, opening the glass display case to take out the silver chain necklace. "Well then, this would make a perfect gift for a boyfriend." She winked at Makoto, who blushed even brighter. "Are you getting a matching one for yourself, sir?"

Haruka immediately turned to look at Makoto.

"I-I think Rin would appreciate it." He stuttered, ignoring the saleslady's giggles.

Haruka nodded once, facing the saleslady once more. "A matching set, please."

"Right away, sir. Will the other one be wrapped?"

"Yes, please."

"Thank you for your purchase, sir." The saleslady beamed, gesturing towards the register. "Please pay at the register, sir."

Haruka walked over to the register as Makoto followed, still slightly embarrassed about being mistaken for his best friend's boyfriend. It wasn't like it didn't happen before. When he came out to his parents in his senior year of high school they were very accepting but also thought he had a crush on Haruka, and the discussion that followed that "No, I'm gay but not because of Haru" was probably the most awkward discussion he had ever had. It was easier to explain to friends that they were not dating, but harder to explain to complete strangers. Sometimes he even wished Haruka wouldn't be so close to him so he wouldn't be mistaken as the boyfriend.

"Thank you sir, enjoy your Christmas."

Haruka gave a noncommittal grunt as he left the store. Makoto trailed behind him, saying a pleasant goodbye to the saleslady as he opened the door. Haruka was already standing on the street a little far off from the store, opening the simple brown paper bag the necklaces were kept in. He brought out a simple blue box, fiddling with the white ribbon tied around it as Makoto approached.

"Should I wear it?"

Makoto paused, looking down at his friend. "I think you should wait for Rin to open his first."

"Okay."

With the conversation apparently over, Haruka replaced the box and turned to the direction of Samezuka University. Makoto followed, occasionally looking up at the displays of the stores they passed. There were some that caught his eye, like the giant stuffed orca he spotted in one of the toy stores, but he pushed them off his mind.

As they neared the campus, Haruka's pace sped up, and Makoto tried not to chuckle. Makoto wondered if Haruka himself was aware of this, of how he clutched the bag tighter or how he positively lit up the moment he spotted Rin. He was usually a bit more guarded than that, with a poker face that was hard to crack, but Rin turned him into a completely different person.

From the way Rin smiled when he saw them, it was obvious the feeling was mutual.

He stood near the bleachers of the university's football field, red bag slung over his shoulder, his shark-toothed grin aimed directly at them. There was someone else next to him, looking slightly put off that Rin put their conversation on hold just to smile at Haruka. The guy was tall and broad-shouldered, with black hair he kept short and what appeared to be blue eyes. Makoto had never seen the guy before, but he couldn't shake the feeling he'd met him before. The man turned to look at them, meeting Makoto's eyes accidentally, and he finally remembered.

"Oh no."

"Glasses?"

It was the man from yesterday. The one hid under a baseball cap and wore glasses even in the dead of night.

"Oh no. No. No."

The man he refused to bend rules for, whom he should really have bended rules for, was standing right there next to his best friend's boyfriend. And he wasn't just any man.

He was Sousuke Yamazaki, captain of the football team, guy who helped their small university team reach Nationals on his first year and did it again on his second year. The word around campus was that the only reason he wasn't on a national team yet was because he wanted to finish his degree first, and that the national team was keeping a spot open for him.

Makoto couldn't believe he actually got to talk to someone like him. Makoto couldn't believe he actually _almost insulted_ someone like him. Wow. This conversation was going to be awkward.

"Haru, I need to go use the bathroom."

Without even waiting for his best friend to reply, he turned and walked to gym that housed the university's indoor pool, knowing that's the closest bathroom stalls were. He ignored the confused look on Haruka's face, telling himself that he'd explain everything else later. Rin was calling his name now too, and so was a third voice that he was sure belonged to Sousuke.

The third voice was getting louder.

Makoto took a deep breath and sprinted across the grassy area that separated the indoor gym from the football field, hoping everyone else around him was too busy looking at Sousuke to even try and block his path. Finally reaching the gym and pushing the doors open, he didn't even acknowledge anyone as he made a beeline for the bathrooms. Unfortunately, Sousuke was on his heels, and before he could lock himself in the safety of a bathroom stall, the taller boy pushed himself in and locked it for him. Effectively trapped inside the men's bathroom stall with an extremely attractive football player, Makoto closed his eyes and waited for the worst.

"Hey." Sousuke spoke, leaning on the stall door. "It's harder to recognize you without your glasses."

Makoto involuntarily chuckled, not expecting this was how Sousuke wanted to start the conversation.

"I don't look that different." Makoto murmured, the back of his legs grazing the edge of the toilet seat. "I only wear the glasses during lectures, or when I'm reading, or--"

"Or when you're trying to complete the whole 'sexy librarian' look?"

Makoto's eye flew open. "What?"

Sousuke grinned, aquamarine eyes locked on Makoto's green ones. "Your sexy librarian look? Complete with the glasses?" he continued, unaware of the effect his stare had on the shorter boy. "Totally worth you giving me shit about some stupid library book."

Makoto gulped, breaking eye contact. "I'm really sorry about the book. I didn't mean to sound so mean."

"You weren't mean." Sousuke assured him, taking one step forward in the cramped stall. "A little uptight about the rules, maybe, but not mean."

Makoto cringed. "I was rude, too."

"You had every right to be." Sousuke replied, stepping even closer while Makoto willed himself not to look up. "My friend and I were acting like jerks. You were just doing your job."

"I bet you want to get me fired or something..."

Sousuke sighed, reaching out to cup Makoto's chin with his thumb and forefinger, tilting it up so he could look into the other boy's eyes. "Tell me honestly, if you knew who I was, would you have called one of the people who borrowed the book and told them to return it immediately?"

Makoto pondered it for a bit, wondering if he would have eventually caved in when he knew who Sousuke was, but rules were rules and Makoto would never break them. So... "No."

There was a sparkle in Sousuke's eyes and Makoto wondered if it was there before. "No? Why?"

"Rules are rules. I would have caved in if you pressured me, but you don't really seem to be the type to use his fame and power to bully library assistants."

 "Oh? It's not like I haven't done that before."

"You could have done it yesterday. You could have taken off the cap and sunglasses and showed everyone present who you were, but you didn't."

Sousuke's grin was back, but it looked sincere this time. "No, I didn't."

There was a pause Makoto had no idea how to interpret, glancing down at Sousuke's fingers still holding his chin captive, hyper aware at the heat that pooled in that one spot. "You're still holding my chin." He hoped he didn't sound as nervous as he felt.

"I know." Sousuke's voice was low as he took that final step closer, leaving barely an inch of space between them, his warm breath mingling with Makoto's own.

Makoto's eyes darted from the man's lips, curled into a smug grin, up to man's eyes, which seemed to dance with a sparkle that Makoto still couldn't understand the meaning of. He had never stood this close to someone before, and he felt a little lightheaded, as if Sousuke was greedily breathing in the oxygen that was supposed to be for both of them. This was probably why his brain-to-mouth filter gave up on him, and he dared to say "The people coming in would be wondering why you're in here with me. They would probably think you're gay."

Sousuke leaned forward, lips on Makoto's right ear, lips hot as he whispered: "They would probably be right."

Makoto shivered as Sousuke's tongue darted out to trace his ear, sucking it into his hot, wet mouth and nibbling on the tender flesh. He dropped the shorter boy's chin, resting his hand on the small of Makoto's back as he released Makoto's ear with an obscene _pop,_ then showing the same type of attention to the sensitive skin below the boy's ear, making his knees turn to jelly.

Sousuke's other hand slide up to the back of Makoto's head, holding the green-eyed beauty still as he kissed and nibbled his way down to the boy's throat. He wasn't rough enough to leave a mark, Makoto was sure, but every brush of his lips and lave of his tongue still sent white hot sparks of desire down Makoto's spine, pooling in his groin and making his jeans a bit tighter than usual.

Makoto tried to distract himself from the sudden onslaught of desire and hormones that coursed through his veins, bracing his arms against Sousuke's wide chest and giving a little shove. Sousuke paused long enough from his exploration of Makoto's neck to look the shorter boy in the eye. "What-" Makoto panted, "What are you doing?"

Sousuke raised an eyebrow. "Something..." he began, raking his eyes over Makoto from head to toe "Something I've wanted to do since the minute I walked into the library and saw you."

He was intent in getting his lips back on Makoto's neck, but Makoto's hand stayed firmly planted on his chest, giving him another shove backward. "You just met me yesterday." He frowned, uncomfortable with the spontaneity of Sousuke's action. "You can't possibly want me after just meeting me."

Sousuke shrugged. "Yesterday wasn't my first time meeting you." He replied. "It wasn't even my first time seeing you."

It was Makoto's turn to raise his eyebrow. "It wasn't?" he asked, "I'm sure I haven't been formally introduced to you before. I didn't even know you were friends with my best friend's boyfriend."

"Ah. Rin." Sousuke hummed, his hand behind Makoto's head joining the other on the shorter boy's back. "The other guy with you must be Haruka then."

Makoto's frown turned into a pout and Sousuke couldn't stop his chuckle. "You're changing the subject."

"I've seen you around." Sousuke confessed, his fingers idly playing with the skin of Makoto's back. "I study at the library every Wednesday when I don't have classes, but I tend to stay at the back so I guess you really don't notice me. I notice _you_ though, I _always_ notice you. This made it easier to notice you among the crowds in the campus. Found out you were an Education major when you happened to run through the field one day trying to get to the Sciences Building on time. Swear I felt my heart stop."

Makoto ducked his head down, embarrassed and highly aware that his hands were still on Sousuke's chest. "I-I-It's a good shortcut..." he mumbled, "Saves time if you don't have to go around it."

Sousuke moves his hands to Makoto's hips and squeezed. "You were blushing a pretty shade of red then, too."

"Why-" Makoto swallowed, pushing at Sousuke's chest with enough force to make him step back. "Why did you chase me?"

"I felt like if I didn't you'd worry yourself silly."

Makoto hated how true that was. "Why did you lock yourself in here with me?"

"I thought it was kind of obvious."

"What's obvious?"

Sousuke let out a long sigh. "That it was obvious that I'm attracted to you."

Makoto looked at him, skeptical. "But..." he hesitated. "You're... You're not really..."

"Gay?"

Makoto nodded.

"Last time I checked, I wasn't straight." Sousuke shrugged, at ease in the small cubicle. "There is not one article out there about who I'm dating, right?"

Makoto thought for a moment, slowly realizing that the only articles on Sousuke were about his work regimen or his training. Makoto wondered if he had to bribe someone for that. "No. There isn't..." he replied, still thinking. "But if you're planning on making me your--"

Sousuke finally let him go, retreating until his back  was against the stall door. "No, you're right." He gave Makoto a look, like he was sorry. "You're way too good for some hook-up in a bathroom stall."

Makoto blushed. "This really wasn't--"

"You can call it all you want, Glasses, but this was about to become exactly that." Sousuke put in matter-of-factly. "Shit, no. This wasn't how this was supposed to go."

Makoto stared at him, more than a little confused now. "How was this supposed to go?"

Sousuke scratched the back of his neck, head down and not meeting Makoto's gaze. It actually made him look kind of cute, but Makoto didn't want to admit that yet. "First off, you weren't supposed to run." He gave a self-deprecating laugh, shaking his head. "And I wasn't supposed to chase you, or corner you in a bathroom stall, and I swear I have more restraint than this. Fuck. I fucked up."

Makoto giggled. It was adorable, how the smooth and suave man earlier turned into this embarrassed and confused college student who didn't know how to convey affection. "You can try again." He murmured, mostly to himself but loud enough for Sousuke to hear. "I mean, you know, when we're not locked inside a bathroom stall."

Sousuke chuckled. "Yeah. Okay. We can do that."

They shared a look as Sousuke unlocked the stall door and went out. After a moment, there was a whispered "Coast is clear!" and Makoto followed him. They stood in the middle of an empty bathroom, two tall guys awkwardly staring at each other's shoes. Makoto knew they were both wondering if other people entered and heard their conversation. He was sure it was empty when they came in, but they were too distracted to notice if anyone had entered while they were in the middle of things. He was about to voice his concerns when a familiar voice sounded from outside the door.

"If you two are quiet, it means you're done."

Makoto turned red at the seriousness of Haruka's voice. Sousuke shoved his hands in his pockets, leaning back on the balls of his feet. "Looks like our friends kept the sharks at bay."

"Sousuke, what the hell man?! What are you two doing in there?!"

Makoto blushed even redder, recognizing Rin's deep voice. Sousuke laughed out loud, making Makoto ask himself if he was the only person that found this ordeal embarrassing. Sousuke seemed to be enjoying himself while all Makoto wanted to do was crawl into a hole and disappear.

"Explain later."

There was a very annoyed grunt. "You better."

"Makoto?"

Makoto looked at the closed door at the sound of Haruka calling him. "Yes?"

"We're leaving. Are you two coming out or do we leave without you?"

Makoto's blushing intensified, if that was even physically possible, as he mumbled out a reply. "W-We're coming out."

He walked past Sousuke to the door, grabbing the handle to pull it open, but was stopped by Sousuke's hand above his head. The taller man leaned his entire weight on that hand, boxing Makoto in like some blushing romance heroine. Makoto was sure if he saw himself in the mirror, he looked like he belonged in some cheesy shoujo manga.

Sousuke leaned in close to his ear again, something that would become a habit at some point. "You _are_ gonna let me talk to you later, yeah?"

Makoto nodded, quelling the desire that reignited inside him. "Y-Yeah."


	2. Did You Know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sousuke and Makoto learn little things about their friends and each other.

The first person Makoto saw when he came out of the men's bathroom was Haruka. He stood with his arms crossed, raising his eyebrow when Sousuke appeared beside him. He shot Sousuke a look that Makoto was sure the taller boy had missed, seeing as the brunette walked towards the scowling redhead leaning against the wall. Haruka's gaze settled on Makoto, the question in his mind ringing painfully loud despite no words exchanged between them.

Makoto shook his head.

Haruka's gaze intensified.

Makoto sighed.

The corner of Haruka's mouth twitched upward, which might have been considered a smile to someone who didn't know Haruka too well, but Makoto had known him far longer than anyone else. He knew, more than anyone else, how different Haruka was when he smiled. His eyes, which were usually a dark shade of blue, sparkled like the vast ocean reflecting the rays of the summer sun. The lines on his face smoothened out and, on very rare occasions, his mouth parted and he full-out smiled.

This wasn't a smile. His eyes didn't have that sparkle to them, but there was a glint, almost similar to the glint in Sousuke's eyes when he had Makoto trapped in the stall. But it was subtle, playful, almost proud. It took a while for Makoto to realize, but when he did, he couldn't believe Haruka actually had that kind of expression.

It was a smug grin.

Well, as smug as a grin could get in Haruka's arsenal of emotions.

Makoto wasn't sure how to react to that.

"Why are they staring at each other?"

"They get like that sometimes. They're having a conversation."

"How?"

"The hell if I know!"

Haruka's attention shifted from their silent conversation to a surprised Rin, who immediately ducked his head when he realized he had raised his voice. Makoto could tell Sousuke was trying to hold back a chuckle, clearly amused at how fast Rin's face turned red. Makoto couldn't help but smile, remembering how he too had to hold back a giggle when he first discovered Rin's high blush tendency. He didn't expect the sharp-toothed shark to quickly transform into a blushing college boy when he had innocently asked if Rin had had sex with Haruka yet. It wasn't one of Rin's best moments.

"Sorry."  Rin murmured, scratching the back of his head.

"No. It's fine." Haruka replied, turning to look back at Makoto. "We're going to lunch."

"Oh."

"Are you coming?"

Makoto looked to Rin, wondering if the invitation was a mutual decision. "Yeah, you guys can come to lunch." Rin smiled before turning to smack Sousuke's shoulder. "Right after this guy grabs his gym bag from the bleachers."

Sousuke groaned. "I don't want to go back!"

"It's not like it's gonna walk to you, man! You gotta go grab it!"

"Does it have to be me?"

"It's _your_ bag!"

"Can't someone else come with me?"

"I'll come."

Three pairs of eyes were suddenly on Makoto.

Sousuke grinned. "Thanks, I appre-"

"No."

They all turned to Haruka, his arms crossed again, brows knotted together as he locked eyes with Sousuke. "You and Rin go." The tone of his voice left no room for argument, and it took only a second for Rin and Makoto to get what his intentions were. "Makoto and I will go on ahead. Rin knows where we're going. We'll save you seats."

"Yeah, sure." Rin shrugged, turning to head towards the exit. "You know what to get for me, Haru?"

"Yes."

"We'll see you later." Makoto said, offering Sousuke one of his shy smiles.

"Yeah." Sousuke smiled back, giving a little wave. "See you later."

Makoto watched as the two walked away, Sousuke poking and laughing at a frowning Rin all the way to the exit. They both were obviously very at ease in each other's presence, comfortable enough to make fun of each other and laugh at each other's troubles. They didn't have the skill to carry on a silent conversation that Makoto and Haruka had mastered over the years, but the quality of friendship was just as strong. He was just about to ask Haruka about Rin and Sousuke's friendship when his best friend interrupted his line of thought by walking right past him and heading towards the exit himself.

He  jogged to catch up to the shorter boy who simply looked back at him and said "The faster we get to Gorou's the faster I get to hear your explanation, Makoto."

Makoto sighed. "Is there any chance that I don't have to explain myself, Haru?"

"No."

"What if I don't want to explain?"

Haruka stopped to look at him. "Makoto."

Makoto's shoulder slumped, there was no use hiding anything from his best friend. Haruka saw right through him. Again. "Okay. What if I don't know _how_ to explain?"

Haruka shrugged. "You'll figure it out."

Makoto let out a breath as they continued their way to Gorou's Pizza, the place where they both had started out their day. "That's the thing, Haru. I can't figure it out. At least, not yet."

"You don' have to explain everything, Makoto."

"But you'll eventually _want_ me to explain everything."

Haruka nodded as they turned the corner. " _Eventually_ , yes. Right now, I just want you to explain what happened earlier."

Makoto swallowed. " _Everything_ that happened earlier?" He asked, slowly turning red.

They reached the pizza place in no time, and as Makoto held open the door for them to enter, Haruka looked at him blankly. They sat themselves on one of the booths at the back of the shop, saving two seats for Rin and Sousuke, accepting the menus handed to them and ordering. Haruka waited until the ginger boy who took their orders left before speaking again.

"Makoto." He began, "What happened earlier?"

* * *

"What the hell was that?"

Sousuke groaned, slinging the teal sports bag over his shoulder, giving Rin a look that was supposed to convey all his thoughts on the matter. Unfortunately, since silent conversation wasn't in their skill set yet, Rin missed the meaning of his look completely and continued on with his train of thought.

"I know Makoto hasn't met you, but why'd he run away the moment he saw you? And why the hell did you run after him? Also, what were you two doing inside the men's bathroom together? And what's with Haruka being mad at you? What did you do?"

Sousuke held his face in both his hands, sliding them up to grip at his hair, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He turned to look at Rin, leaning against the bleacher rail to the left of him, one elegant eyebrow raised. He resisted the urge to comment on Rin picking up on Haruka's mannerisms, choosing instead to stick to the topic.

"Honestly?" he sighed. "I don't really know."

"You don't know?!"

"At first I thought I did! Now..." He shrugged. "I'm not really sure."

"Let me get this straight." Rin began. " I'm assuming something happened between you and Makoto to make him run away like that. You followed him for some unknown reason, with Haruka and I hot on your heels 'cause Haru's always protective when it comes to his best friend, and we end up waiting for you two to finish whatever it was you were doing together in the men's bathroom. And all this happened because. You. Don't. Know."

"What do you want me to say, Rin?" Sousuke almost shouted. "I don't know, okay?!"

Rin sighed, his expression turning sympathetic. "Hey, let's try this. Answer one question at a time. Ready?"

"Like I have a choice."

Rin laughed.

"Start with your first question already, idiot."

"Why'd Makoto run away?"

"Because Hanazawa and I harassed him at work yesterday and he thought I was gonna get him fired for putting up with our bullshit."

Silence.

Sousuke began counting.

One. Two. Three.

_"What the hell?!"_

Sousuke shrugged, grinning. "I answered your question, simple as that."

"There was nothing simple about that sentence!"

"Do you _really_ want me to go into detail? You and I both know Hanazawa's kind of a jerk to everyone, it just happened he was a jerk to Makoto while I was there."

"And Makoto thought you were going to get him fired because?"

"Because he didn't bend rules to get things done _for me_." Sousuke stressed, shaking. "He thought I wanted him to be like everyone else and do things for me just because I'm Yamazaki Sousuke."

Rin chuckled. "Typical Makoto. He's way too nice. Makes everything in his life harder for him."

Sousuke couldn't help the spark of jealousy that tugged at him, listening to Rin talk about Makoto like he'd known him for a long time. Granted Rin was dating Haruka, and though Haruka didn't seem like the type to talk endlessly about his best friend, he'd obviously introduced them at one point. They were friends, maybe even close friends, and Sousuke had yet to achieve that level of closeness. It was just downright irrational to get jealous.

He buried that spark somewhere deep inside him, hoping he didn't have to feel it again soon.

"You have another question for me, Rin? Or do we head to the pizza place already?"

"They can wait." Rin replied. "I'm pretty sure Haru's grilling Makoto about what happened, too."

"Does that mean he's not mad at me?" Sousuke asked. "Or at least not want me away from Makoto?"

"Ha. Don't get your hopes up too high." Rin grinned. "He definitely does _not_ want you near Makoto right now."

Sousuke grinned. "Bad first impression?"

"Kind of. I'll ask him to get off your back." Rin paused, his grin becoming absolutely evil. "Depending on your answer to my next question..."

"I'm hoping this is worth it, Matsuoka."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure it's worth it, Yamazaki."

Sousuke sighed. "Shoot."

"Why'd you run after him?"

"I wanted to clear up the whole misunderstanding."

"Really?" Rin stared at him, sharp red eyes seeing right through his cover. "Ran after him all the way into the men's bathroom just to clear up a misunderstanding? You two spent ten minutes in there, and don't think Haru and I didn't hear anything. Walls are pretty thin, man, and not one of us was ignorant to what some of those sounds were."

Sousuke crossed his arms over his chest, fighting the urge to punch Rin just so he would shut up. He didn't want to admit it but he was embarrassed of Rin's line of questioning. "Just spit it out, Rin." He managed to say calmly.

"Are you serious about this, Sousuke?" Rin frowned, his eyes showing concern.

Sousuke didn't reply. Just crossed his arms tighter and scowled.

 "Haruka and I heard you two, you know. You said that Makoto was 'too good for some hook-up in a bathroom stall'. And you're right, he's too good." Rin continued, giving his friend time to think. "Way too good, if you ask me. He's someone you ask out on a proper date, take to places you know would make him happy, introduce to your parents."

"What's your point, Rin?"

"You know my point, Sousuke." Rin stared at him, the concern in his eyes replaced with a fire that had Sousuke on edge. "Makoto's someone you have to be serious about. And you might be my childhood friend, but if you tell me right now that you aren't serious about this and you end up hurting him, I swear. I. Will. Hurt. You."

There was unmistakable tension in the air as the two young men stared at each other. Sousuke could feel the seriousness of Rin's threat down to his very core. He had said the same things to Haruka a few years back, when Haruka had stolen his friend's heart and Rin lost focus on football and messed a lot of things up. He told Haruka to back off, told him his presence was affecting Rin in a bad way and Rin could have lost his career. It didn't stop them from dating or moving in together, but he still wanted Haruka to know that if he ever hurt Rin in any way, Sousuke would be there to hurt him just as much.

He was hurt though, thinking that Rin had warned _him_ and not Makoto. But what did he expect? Rin knew him, knew that he'd only been in relationships with girls and suddenly here he was chasing after Makoto, knew that he hadn't been serious about any of those relationships and tended to not care as much as he should have, knew that commitment was something he struggled with and he avoided it at all cost. He hated to admit it, but Rin made the right choice. Makoto was the better person, and if Sousuke had been in Rin's place, he'd have threatened himself too.

"I just want you to know that I'm not sure about what the hell is going on with me, and maybe I'll have to figure that out at some point in whatever this is." Sousuke finally admitted, breaking the silence between them before it became any greater and consumed them both. "But one thing's for sure: I won't hurt him."

"We can't make sure of that, Sousuke." Rin replied, a smile on his face that didn't reach his eyes. "You might think you won't ever hurt someone, but then you go and do something you thought was the right thing but it's not, and you end up with two broken people."

Sousuke grinned. "Personal experience?"

"Kind of."

"Do I wanna know?"

"Hell no." Rin laughed bitterly. "But I'll end up telling you about it one day, I guess."

"I'll be waiting, then." Sousuke shrugged. "In all honesty though, I'm serious about this. Something about it feels... Different."

Rin's smile was knowing as he nudged Sousuke's shoulder with his own. "Let's hope it's a good kind of different."

"Yeah." Sousuke smiled. "I hope so, too."

* * *

"Does this make any sense to you, Haru?"

Makoto frowned, chewing on his slice of pizza, wondering if anything he said made any sense. He managed to explain to Haruka about how he had refused to call up the borrowers of the book Sousuke and his friend wanted to borrow the other night, mentioning how rude he must have been to Sousuke and how the guy must have wanted him fired when he first saw him standing beside Rin. He continued on to explain that he had given Sousuke and his friend a copy of his Ebook, so maybe Sousuke wasn't so mad at him like he initially thought, but rationally flew out of his mind when he realized that Sousuke had followed him. He then proceeded to describe, in very embarrassing detail, how Sousuke had apparently come on to him while they were trapped together in one of the men's bathroom stalls, telling his best friend how surreal it all was for him and that maybe he'd just been dreaming it all up. None of it made sense.

Haruka looked at him calmly, like he had for the past five minutes while listening to him talk. "It does make sense to me."

 _"It does?!"_ Makoto exclaimed, almost choking on a piece of pizza. "How does it make sense to you, Haru?"

"It just does."

Makoto looked at him disbelievingly.

Haruka avoided eye contact.

"Haru?"

"I'll tell you why." Haruka replied. "Someday."

Makoto let it go, knowing that pushing it would make Haruka leave get up and leave. "Still..." he continued, blushing lightly. "I don't understand why he, you know, kissed me like _that_."

"Maybe he just likes you?"

"Me?! How could he like _me_?!"

"You're very likeable, Makoto."

"But he just met me!"

"That wasn't what you told me."

Makoto blushed, remembering how Sousuke had confessed that he hung out in the library every Wednesday just to see him. "That doesn't really count, Haru!" he whined, pouting. "I don't know anything about him-"

"He's pretty famous in school, it's impossible for you not to know _anything_ about him."

"Haru!"

"Okay, sorry." Haruka's mouth tilted upward in a grin. "What is your point?"

"My point is..." Makoto shook his head, exasperated. "We're practically strangers! I admit I'm attracted to him-"

"Very attracted to him, if your reaction earlier was any proof."

"Haru!"

"Just stating facts, Makoto."

Makoto let out a breath, running his hands through his hair to try and get his thoughts straight. "Alright, fine, I'm very attracted to him." He confessed. "But you know me, Haru. I'm not the type to jump head first into something without looking to see how far the fall is. If I get into this, there's a huge chance of me getting serious. What's gonna happen to me if I fall too hard and he realizes he made a mistake and lets me go?"

They were quiet for a moment as Haruka just picked at the toppings off his pizza, not meeting Makoto's eyes at all. Makoto let him relish in the silence, knowing that Haruka's brain was working a mile a minute. He picked up his second slice of pizza, still warm despite the air-conditioning in the shop. They'd wisely chosen to have Rin and Sousuke's pizza to be served later, keeping it warm for the two when they finally arrived. Makoto was in the middle of contemplating Sousuke's favorite pizza topping when Haruka finally spoke up.

"I'll catch you."

Makoto looked up to meet Haruka's clear blue eyes, surprised to find a hardness in them that he hadn't seen in a long time.

"What, Haru?"

"If you fall too hard and he isn't serious about it..." Haruka paused. "I'll catch you."

"What about Rin?"

"He's probably threatening Sousuke right now."

"I thought they were friends."

"They are." Haruka smiled at him, shocking Makoto to silence. "That means he knows Sousuke more than anyone, so if anyone were to threaten him, it would be Rin."

"Rin would do that?" Makoto asked, confused. "For me?"

"He would."

"Why?"

Silence.

"Haru?"

"Because you're my family, Makoto." He began. "And Rin promised me that he would protect my family."

Makoto stared, not knowing what to say.

Haruka shrugged, letting him know that words were not needed.

* * *

Sousuke offered to walk Makoto to his apartment, ignoring the scowl he got from Rin and the downright glare Haruka aimed at his direction. Makoto himself wasn't against the idea, showing him one of those shy smiles that made Sousuke's blood boil as he apologized for Haruka's reaction. Rin proved to be just as difficult as Haruka when he asked why Sousuke had to walk Haruka home when it was still mid-afternoon and "isn't your place over on the opposite direction?". For the second time that day Sousuke had to reel in the urge to sucker punch his childhood friend, his brow twitching at the effort it took to keep himself in check.

Fortunately Makoto sensed his tension and placed a hand on his bicep, smiling bright enough to make him forget everyone else around them. "I don't want to inconvenience you or anything, Yamazaki-kun." He told him, the weight of his hand the only thing Sousuke could focus on. "I can walk by myself. I'm used to it."

"Nah, it's fine. I wanted to go over to a shop in your direction anyway." Sousuke lied, giving Makoto a reassuring smile.

"A shop? But Makoto lives in a residentia-" Rin sputtered as an elbow met his stomach hard, the owner of said elbow looking over at Makoto with a blank expression.

"Rin and I might stop by to get groceries before going home." Haruka informed, pretending not to see the look Rin was giving him. "I'll see you on Monday, Makoto."

Makoto nodded, his hand slipping away from Sousuke's bicep, reaching out to grab Haruka for a hug. "Yeah, okay. Monday."

"We'll come pick you up around one in the afternoon." Rin added, playfully punching Sousuke's shoulder. "Take care of the cinnamon roll."

Makoto turned bright red when Rin started to laugh, giving a small wave before he and Haruka turned to the direction of their own apartment. Sousuke chuckled at the green-eyed boy's reaction, causing Makoto to blush even harder. "R-Rin has never called me that before!" he tried to defend himself, frowning. "And I am _not_ a cinnamon roll!"

"I agree." Sousuke grinned, nodding. "You're not a cinnamon roll. You're more of a strawberry shortcake, judging by how fast you turn red."

Makoto looked away, not meeting Sousuke's gaze. "I like to think that my blush tendency isn't as high as Rin's."

"True. Rin's a pretty transparent guy for someone who looks like a damn shark half of the time."

They began to walk towards Makoto's apartment, their pace slow enough for them to keep up their conversation without getting out of breath. "Rin _does_ look like a shark, doesn't he?" Makoto chuckled, stealing a glance at Sousuke through his lashes. "You remind me of a shark yourself, Yamazaki-kun."

"Me? A shark? I'm hurt." Sousuke faked hurt. "I prefer to think of myself as a bear."

"I like bears." Makoto said softly, barely loud enough for Sousuke to hear, a hint of flirtation in his voice that anybody who wasn't listening carefully would have missed by a mile.

But Sousuke was listening.

Oh, he was all ears.

"Maybe I'll get you one for Christmas." Sousuke said nonchalantly, shoving his hands in his jean pockets.

"What?" They turned the corner that lead to Makoto's apartment, the slightly shorter boy turning to look at him.

"You said you like bears." Sousuke grinned, delighting in the red that streaked across Makoto's face, knowing that it wasn't the cold making him look like that. "I'll get you a bear for Christmas." Sousuke made his voice throaty, leaning in to whisper in Makoto's ears. "A big brown teddy bear you can bring to bed every night."

"O-Oh." Makoto shivered as Sousuke stepped back to observe the result of his flirtation, extremely pleased with himself at the glazed look in Makoto's eyes, knowing it was his words that put it there. "I-I'm actually n-not gonna be here for Christmas."

This was news to Sousuke.

"You're not gonna be here?"

"Uhm, no." Makoto shook his head, frowning. "Haruka and I are going home."

"Is that why they're picking you up this Monday??"

"Yeah."

"And Rin's coming with you?"

Makoto nodded. "Yeah." He broke the spell between them by taking a step forward, reminding Sousuke that they were still a few feet away from his apartment complex. They both walked on, Makoto continuing the conversation. "Haru's introducing Rin to his parents this year."

"Oh, that's sickeningly sweet."

"Yeah." Makoto chuckled. "I'm kind of jealous though."

They stopped in at the foot of the stairs that led to Makoto's apartment, Makoto shuffling his feet and staring at the ground, waiting for Sousuke to react to what he just said. He'd never told anyone that. He didn't like anyone knowing he was jealous of his best friend's relationship, it made him feel like a bad person. But Sousuke was an outsider, in a way. He could see things in another point of view. He wouldn't call Makoto mean for being jealous, would he?

"I feel the same way too, actually." Sousuke finally said, surprising him. "Rin's my friend and all, but when I see them all lovey-dovey like that, I just wanna tear them apart."

Makoto chuckled. "I wouldn't want to tear them apart!" He smiled, slowly becoming at ease. "But, yeah, I guess I really don't like being the third wheel when we're together."

"I hear ya."

"But that doesn't stop me from wanting a relationship like that." Makoto blurted out, unable to stop himself.

"Oh?" he could hear the smile in Sousuke's tone. "You wanna be so sickeningly sweet with someone to the point people pray you two break up?"

Makoto laughed, the sound soft and sweet to Sousuke's ears. He swore, right then and there, that he would do anything in his power to make the brown-haired angel laugh like that again. It was strange and new and really fast, but Makoto was working his way into Sousuke's heart.

Funny, he never knew he had a heart.

"Not exactly like that, no." Makoto managed to get out between laughs, hands hugging his midriff.

"Huh. And here I thought you wanted some prince in a white horse that would treat you like Hatsune Miku."

Makoto laughed again, harder this time, drawing out a chuckle from Sousuke himself. "No. No, absolutely not!" He wheezed, face red from laughter.

"Is it too over the top?"

"A little, yes."

"Then what _do_ you want in a relationship, Tachibana?"

Makoto reeled in his laughter, breathing in and out before answering Sousuke's question. "I want the other person to be as serious about me as I am about him." He replied, smiling shyly. "I'm not the type of guy who takes relationships like a game."

"I didn't think you were." Sousuke put in, taking a step closer. "That's why I want to do this properly."

Makoto gulped, overwhelmed by the fire in Sousuke's eyes, wondering if the man in front of him was worth jumping without looking. It was crazy though, and he knew it. Sousuke barely knew him, and Makoto was sure he was straight before all this. There was no way this way going to be anything but Sousuke experimenting. It wasn't like Sousuke was in love with him, and he was sure there was no such thing as love at first sight.

Wait, wait, wait.

Love?

It was too early to even think about that.

"Hey." Sousuke spoke, interrupting his errant thoughts. "Coach is cancelling practice tomorrow so those who wanted to go home for the holidays could get a head start."

"Huh." was all Makoto could say, not sure where Sousuke was going with the conversation.

"So, uhm, well, I..." Sousuke ducked his head again, scratching the back of his neck.

Makoto wondered if that was an unconscious reaction on his part, something he did whenever he was embarrassed or didn't know what to say. Makoto liked it. It reminded him that Sousuke was just an awkward college junior just like him, not some famous football star going to the national team someday. It was nice to know that maybe, just maybe, he had a chance.

"A-Are you free tomorrow?" Sousuke asked. He was nervous, that was for sure, but he hoped it didn't show outwardly. He didn't want Makoto laughing at him, after all.

Makoto didn't laugh, but he did smile. It made Sousuke feel a little settled. "Yes. I'm free tomorrow, Yamazaki-kun."

"You maybe, I don't know..." Sousuke cleared his throat. "Want to go out on a date somewhere?"

Silence.

And then...

"No."

Sousuke stopped thinking.

_"No?!"_

Makoto nodded. "No, I don't want to go out somewhere."

Sousuke's shoulders drooped and he really didn't care anymore that his disappointment was obvious. "Oh. Okay. Yeah, that's fine too."

"But I _do_ want to go on a date..." Makoto continued, smiling. "Just not out. I've got to pack for the trip home."

"Oh." Sousuke grinned, shaking his head. "You almost gave me a heart attack there, Tachibana!"

"I'm sorry!" Makoto chuckled. "You can come over tomorrow and help me pack, but that doesn't sound like a fun date at all."

"Sounds fun to me."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Sousuke agreed. "I just want to know you more."

Makoto blushed and Sousuke really liked how he looked all red like that. "I-I have video games." Makoto offered. "I have Mario Kart and Smash Bros on Wii. We can play those."

"Yeah. Yeah." Sousuke nodded. "I'd like that."

"I'd like that too." Makoto agreed. "So..."

"So?"

"Do want my email or?"

"Yeah, of course!" Sousuke reached into his back pocket for his phone, Makoto mimicking his action.

They exchanged email addresses and contact information, Sousuke telling Makoto he could always call the main phone of the dorm he was staying in 'cause they really didn't mind it if he hogged the phone. After a half-hearted attempt from Makoto to get Sousuke to stop hogging the phone and make him apologize to the senpai who were probably annoyed with him, they both had the other's name saved on their phone. Seeing Makoto's name on his phone gave Sousuke a weird feeling he didn't understand, much like the majority of what was going on between them. The wishful look on Makoto's face when the brown-haired angel stared at his phone made the confusion worth it, if only for the time being.

"Alright." Sousuke spoke up, still grinning. "So, call you later?"

"Yeah." Makoto nodded. "Call you later."

There was an awkward pause between them where they internally debated with themselves whether they should kiss the person in front of them or not. Makoto made up his mind first, and tilting his chin up a little, kissed Sousuke chastely on the nose. He smiled at Sousuke's look of bewilderment, hiding his face in the collar of his shirt.

"That's for today." He said softly, almost shyly. "If you help me out tomorrow, you might get a real kiss."

Sousuke blinked at him. "I'll come as early as I can."

Makoto chuckled. "At least come when I'm awake."

"There are so many ways I can respond to that, Tachibana."

Makoto reddened. "Y-You know that's not what I meant!"

Sousuke laughed. "I know. I was messing with you."

"That's not nice." Makoto pouted.

"I'll try to be nicer."

"The nicer you are the greater the chance of you getting a kiss."

"I'll be first on Santa's list."

Makoto smiled, stepping back, a sign that the conversation was over and that they had to separate ways. He really didn't want to go back to his cold and empty apartment, but he couldn't invite Sousuke inside yet either. It was too soon for that.

"I'll hope you hear from you later, Yamazaki-san."

"Sousuke." Sousuke grinned at him. "Just Sousuke is fine."

"So-" Makoto stuttered. "Sousuke."

Sousuke tilted his head sideways, looking at him with warmth swimming in his dark aquamarine eyes. "I like the way you say my name."

"T-T-Thank you..." he mumbled, more than a little embarrassed. The line was overused, yeah, but Sousuke saying it made him feel giddy all over. "You can call me Makoto, then."

"Makoto." Sousuke repeated, his grin still not coming off his face. "Makoto."

"I'm right here, you know." Makoto chuckled. "No need to keep saying my name."

"I just wanted to know how you'd feel against my tongue."

Makoto knew his face must have been bright red, judging by the heat rushing to his head and the devilish grin on Sousuke's face.

"O-O-Okay." Makoto stammered, almost stumbling up on his way up the stairs. "Don't you have a shop to go to?"

Sousuke shrugged. "Don't need to go anymore."

"There aren't shops here, you know." Makoto smiled. "You lied."

"Haruka didn't seem to mind."

"I still can't believe he elbowed Rin."

"I can't believe it, either."

Silence.

"You know, I really need to go home, Sousuke."

"You're already home, Makoto."

"Sousuke."

"Makoto?"

"I think _you_ need to go home."

"Can't I stay here?"

"You'll freeze."

"Invite me inside."

"It's too early for me to do that."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

Silence.

"What time tomorrow, Makoto?"

"Be here as early as eight, I guess."

"Are you gonna make me breakfast?"

"Only if you want me to, Sousuke."

"I'd really want you to."

"Okay."

Silence.

"Makoto?"

"Yes?"

"I gotta go."

"I know."

"Call you later."

"I'll be expecting it."

Makoto watched with a smile and Sousuke turned on his heel and walked away from his apartment complex. The tall brunette tossed a wave over his shoulder before turning the corner, making yet another smile appear on Makoto's face. Clutching his phone in one hand, Makoto continued to climb the three flights of stairs to his apartment.

* * *

Makoto was wrapped in a warm toasty blanket, eyes blurry from trying to stay awake to finish one more chapter of his homework for the holidays, when his phone rang. Placing the book on child psychology on the bed side table to his right, he began to grope around the window sill on his left for his phone, letting out a small "aha!" when his fingers curled around the device.

His heart beat faster when he checked caller ID, his hands a little shaky as he swiped right to answer.

"Hey."

Sousuke's voice sounded different on the phone. Deeper, almost as if he was growling, with a scratchy tone to it that made Makoto wonder if he just woke up from a nap.

"Hey." Makoto smiled against the phone. "I was wondering when you'd call."

There was a deep chuckle on the other end, vibrating through the device in his hands and sending a tiny shiver down Makoto's spine. "Yeah, sorry. I wanted to call earlier but I got distracted."

"Oh. I see"

"Don't be sad." Sousuke teased.

"I'm not sad."

"You sound sad."

Makoto pouted, forgetting that Sousuke couldn't really see him. "I'm not sad. You're busy, you get distracted all the time. I understand."

"I don't want to get distracted from you, though."

"What made you get distracted, then?"

"My Dad." Sousuke sighed. "He wondered why I didn't stay after practice like I usually do to run a few extra laps. He made me run on the treadmill to take back the laps I lost."

"Wow." Makoto whistled. "You must be really tired now, huh?"

"Yeah. Kind of."

"Then go to bed."

"Makoto." Sousuke paused, and Makoto could hear the rustling of fabric in the background. "I already _am_  in bed."

The image of Sousuke lying in bed, his slightly tanned skin a beautiful contrast against white sheets, made Makoto's face heat up. He was lucky Sousuke wasn't there to see him. "If you're in bed, why don't you go to sleep?" Makoto continued, impressed that his voice didn't give out on him.

"Mhnm." Sousuke grunted, more fabric rustling louder in the background, probably Sousuke grabbing the blanket to wrap around himself like Makoto did. "I promise to call you, didn't I?"

"I know you did." Makoto began, shifting a little in bed so he was lying on his back, eyes on the ceiling above him. "But you're tired right now. I would have understood."

"You would have worried."

"No, I wouldn't." Makoto lied.

"Yes, you would." Sousuke insisted, yawning. "And besides, I don't break promises."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really."

"I didn't know you were such an upstanding young gentleman, Yamazaki-san."

Sousuke chuckled. "There are many, many things you do not know about me, Tachibana-san."

They shared a quiet laugh in the safety of their own bedrooms.

"Hey, Makoto." Sousuke suddenly said. "Are you in bed right now, too?"

"Yes." Makoto was wary. "Why?"

"Get comfortable."

"Okay." Makoto cuddled up in his warm blanket, making himself comfortable, wondering what Sousuke was planning.

"You comfy?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Sousuke let out a breath. "Tell me about yourself."

Silence.

Makoto didn't expect that.

"What?"

"Tell me about yourself."

Makoto frowned. "That's pretty broad."

Sousuke laughed. "Ha, you're right, way too broad. It'll take us all night at this rate."

Makoto thought of a suggestion. "Hm, what about we ask each other one question, and the other one has to answer, and we keep going until one person falls asleep?"

"Hmmm." Sousuke hummed. "Yeah. Sounds good. Want to ask the first question?"

"Can I?"

"Sure."

"Hmm, well..." There were so many things he wanted to ask Sousuke that it was hard to choose which answer he wanted to know first. He decided on the easiest question. "How do you know Rin?"

"Easiest question, huh?" Sousuke laughed, causing Makoto to blush again. "If you really want to know, Rin and I went to the same elementary and middle schools. We had this weird sort of friendship-rivalry thing going and I don't know if it even stopped. We're still kind of competing against each other now. It doesn't make sense, I know."

Makoto chuckled. "I can understand that. Haruka and I don't make sense too."

"That's kind of related to my question, actually."

"It is?"

"Yeah." Sousuke yawned, making Makoto yawn himself. "How do you do that? The whole 'silent conversation' thing?"

"It's all the years I've spent with Haruka, I guess." Makoto answered honestly. "I've known him almost all my life. We grew up together, went to school together, and lived together until he met Rin. We used to go swimming on weekends together too, but that kinda stopped."

"Why'd you stop swimming?"

"You're asking two questions." Makoto teased. "It's still my turn."

Sousuke laughed. "Okay, okay. Your question then, Tachibana."

"What's your favorite color?"

"Really? You're gonna ask that?"

"Yes. I want to know."

"Alright." Sousuke paused, grinning on the other side of the phone. "I like the color of your eyes."

Makoto blushed. "You're just trying to be romantic, aren't you?"

"I try every chance I get." Sousuke, replied. "Also, that's two questions, so I get to ask two on my turn too."

Makoto laughed. "No fair! That was rhetorical, you weren't supposed to answer that!"

"I just did." Sousuke said smugly. "So here's my first question: Why'd you stop swimming?"

"Well, Haruka and I used to swim on weekends, but I started to get really busy with work and lectures, so I had to stop." Makoto answered. "I love to swim, but food and rent don't pay themselves, so I have to give it up. For now, I think."

"Hmmm." Sousuke hummed. "Would you want to go swimming with me some time?"

"You swim?"

"Careful, Tachibana, that's another question."

"But it's related to _your_ question!"

"Wow. You're getting very competitive." Sousuke laughed. "Yes, Makoto, I swim."

"What style?"

"Butterfly. You?"

"Backstroke. Sometimes free, but Haru's better than me at that."

"Which brings us back to my earlier question." Sousuke smiled to himself. "Wanna swim with me?"

"I'd love to!" Makoto answered enthusiastically, curling up on his side with the phone nestled between his cheek and the pillow. "Well, that is, if you're free. I don't want to waste your time or anything."

"You never waste my time, Makoto."

"Okay." Makoto smiled, yawning. "Tell me the time and date, and I'll swim with you."

"Good." Sousuke stretched, turning to lie on his side. "Who's turn is it to ask a question?"

"I'll ask one." Makoto replied, yawning. "Would you get angry if you lost to me on Mario Kart?"

"What?"

"Would you get angry if you lost to me on Mario Kart?" Makoto repeated. "Because if you're coming over tomorrow and we end up playing, I won't be easy on you."

Sousuke laughed softly. "Are you sure I'm the one who's going to lose?"

"Yes." Makoto smiled. "I've never lost to anyone yet, not even Haru."

"Is that supposed to intimidate me?"

"I hope it is."

"It's not."

Makoto shrugged. "I tried."

Sousuke threw his head back and laughed, not caring that he could potentially wake up the guys in the dorm. The thought of Makoto trying to intimidate him was just too funny. "Fine. Fine." He chuckled. "I won't get angry."

"Okay." Makoto yawned again. "Your question."

Sousuke smiled in the darkness of his room. "You've been yawning, go to sleep."

"No." Makoto answered stubbornly. "I want to talk to you."

"You can talk to me tomorrow."

"Not the same."

"How is it not the same?"

"I can't talk like this when you're actually there." Makoto confessed, his sleep-muddled brain causing his filter to once again crash. "You make me nervous and I end up freezing instead of talking. It's better like this, when you can't see me."

"But I _want_ to see you."

"I want to see you, too. But you make me blush and act like a giant idiot." Makoto yawned. "I'm better than that."

"Yes." Sousuke said softly. "You are."

"So let me talk to you." Makoto nuzzled his cheek on the phone, yawning. "I like listening to you talk."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. It's nice. Your voice is dark and deep, kind of like the ocean, except I'm not scared of it."

"You're scared of the ocean?"

"Yeah."

"Wanna tell me why?"

"No." Makoto yawned again. "Too sleepy to explain."

"You know I'll ask again when you're conscious, right?"

"I know. I won't mind." Makoto closed his eyes, the phone sliding down from the pillow.

"Makoto?"

Silence.

"You must be asleep."

Silence.

Sousuke smiled to himself, letting his eyes close.

"Good night, Makoto."

He pressed "end call", placing the phone on his bedside table, falling asleep to dream of beautiful brown-haired boys with gorgeous green eyes whose laughter made him feel like everything was right in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was contemplating on whether or not the phone conversation should be included, but the chapter didn't feel "complete" without it. Also, I'd love to hear what you thought about this latest chapter! Please don't be shy to comment here or shoot me a message on Tumblr (hetalian-schoolgirl) and I'll try to read/reply to every single one!


	3. Left Dreaming Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sousuke bears his soul, and Makoto realizes that jumping without looking isn't really that bad after all.

Makoto woke to the sound of birds chirping, which was strange considering that it was the middle of winter. He slowly sat up in bed, shrugging off the covers that wrapped about him and rubbing away the sleep from his eyes. He looked around for the chirping birds, his mind realizing that it was just the alarm on his phone. Straining his ears to follow the sound, he found his phone under his bed, loudly chirping the dawn chorus.

He wondered how his phone got there when he was sure he placed it on the windowsill before he went to bed.

Carefully sliding himself of the bed, he landed on the carpeted floor with a dull "thud", grabbing his phone to shut off the cheerful alarm. He swiped left, silencing the chorus of birds, revealing in its stead a call timer from last night. With his vision still blurry, he grabbed for the glasses he placed on the nightstand, putting them on to read the cellphone screen.

Yamazaki Sousuke. December 23, 2015 ; 00:45:30:17.

Makoto stared at the screen for a moment. He remembered Sousuke promising he was going to call, but he didn't think the raven-haired boy would actually spare some time for him. Apparently, Sousuke _did_ take the time to call him, he just couldn't remember exactly _when_. Leaning back against his bed, Makoto closed his eyes to reel in his memories.

Sousuke walked him home in the afternoon and they parted ways on the steps of the stairs that led to his apartment. This was, Makoto realized, after he kissed Sousuke's nose, a memory that had the brown-haired boy blushing, the grin on Sousuke's face lingering in his mind. He remembered finishing up on the homework some of his professors had assigned to them for the holidays, making himself a sandwich for dinner, settling in bed to finish the reading assignment for Child Psychology 301, and then--

"Hey."

Makoto's face burned up at the memory of Sousuke's voice oozing out of his phone, a deep and scratchy growl that still sent goose bumps down Makoto's arms. He remembered the questions game they got themselves into, the bits of information they now knew about each other: the kind of friendships they had with their best friends, the newly discovered mutual love for swimming, the upcoming Mario Kart competition. Makoto gave a small smile as he thought of Sousuke's favorite color, realizing he never told the other boy his own favorite color.

He vaguely remembered feeling sleepy by the end of their conversation, which meant he must have said something he shouldn't have. He grunted, letting the back of his head hit his bed frame with a "thump", bits and pieces of his sleepy mumbling from last night finding their way into his fully awake consciousness.

He had told Sousuke he was afraid of the ocean.

_No._

He had told Sousuke he reduced him to a nervous blushing idiot.

_No!_

He had told Sousuke he liked talking to him just to hear his deep voice.

_Oh god, no!_

Makoto groaned, pulling his knees up to his chest and crossing his arms over them. He hid his face in the circle of his arms. He had no idea how he could face Sousuke now. Maybe he'll die of embarrassment the moment he opened the door and Sousuke smiled at him. It wouldn't be the best start of their first date, but Makoto preferred it over Sousuke bringing up his words from the night before.

Oh, wait.

Today was going to be their first date.

They were going to spend the entire day together. Alone in his tiny apartment, pack his clothes for Monday, play video games afterwards, eat some lunch, watch a movie or two.

Alone. Together.

They were going to get bored of video games and movies at some point in time, and eating together didn't kill much time no matter how frequently they decided to break for snacks. Makoto's face turned a bright strawberry red, knowing that there were so many ways the day could go.

After all, he _did_ promise Sousuke a kiss if he was going to be nice.

And Sousuke _said_ he was going to try hard enough to top Santa's list.

Maybe they _would_ end up kissing.

Makoto could actually the scene play out in his head. They'd be sitting on his couch after Sousuke helped him close his suitcase, teasing him about the many ridiculous things he'd bought for the twins, laughing the way only Sousuke did that made his aquamarine eyes shine so bright. He'd peek at the raven-haired boy through his thick brown lashes, a look he knew would make just about any man attracted to him get a little hot. He'd put a hand on Sousuke's broad chest, lean into him a little bit, closing his eyes and kissing him until he felt the taller man's lips open for him. Sousuke would put his big, strong arms around him, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss, ravaging his mouth like it was the only thing Sousuke wanted to do in the world.

Makoto slammed his head hard against the bed frame, dislodging the thoughts from his mind before they got any more explicit. He slid his hands up into his hair, pulling at the soft strands as he let out another frustrated groan.

What was wrong with him? He didn't fantasize about guys he just met, especially not a guy who was definitely straight to begin with. It didn't matter that the last time he got laid was in his last year of high school! He still shouldn't be doing this! He was breaking rule number one, damn it!

Unfortunately his dick didn't understand the consequences of breaking rule number one, and the visible tent in his sleep pants made him sigh in shame and surrender.

Checking his phone, he mentally noted he now had about an hour and forty five minutes until the time Sousuke had promised he would arrive. His body didn't show signs of calming down at all and he didn't want to risk waiting for it. Grabbing a towel from the basket where he kept his clean laundry, he made his way to the bathroom to shower and hopefully satisfy his libido with just his right hand.

* * *

The sky was still black and the stars were still out when Sousuke awoke, earlier than he would have liked but later than his Dad would have wanted. Rising out of bed, he made his way to his closet, pulling his tank top up and off, throwing it on the growing pile of laundry on the floor of his dorm. He stretched, satisfied to hear the pop of his shoulders, the tension there easing. He grabbed his running clothes from the closet, donning them on, pulling his track pants over his boxers, not bothering to change out of them.

Yawning, he grabbed his phone and headphones from where they rested on his study table, heading out into the cold winter air for his routine morning run.

He caught up with Rin, like he always did, as the redhead finished his first lap around the football field. They bumped fists, Rin slowing his pace for Sousuke to position himself beside him, pacing himself until both of them were in sync. They ran together in comfortable silence until the black sky turned dark blue, streaks of red and orange signaling the arrival of the rising sun.

Sousuke took off his head phones. "Sun's rising."

Rin looked up to the sky, grimacing. "How many laps did we do?"

"I counted ten for me."

"I did eleven."

"Asshole."

"Sucks to lose, huh?"

"Shut up, Rin."

Rin laughed, jogging to a stop beside the bench where his sports bag. Sousuke plopped down beside it, breathing heavily, gratefully accepting the bottle of water Rin held out to him.

"I thought you wouldn't join me today." Sousuke said after he down the sixteen ounce bottle of water.

Rin shrugged. "I wanted to run."

"Knowing you, there's a reason why."

"There doesn't have to be a reason, you know!" Rin groaned, indignant.

"If it were any normal day, I wouldn't ask you, Rin." Sousuke continued. "But it's the day before Christmas Eve. You're going home tomorrow, aren't you? Shouldn't you be packing or something with Nanase?"

Rin clicked his tongue. "He was still sleeping when I left."

"And that's a problem?"

"It isn't."

"So?"

"Fine! Damn it, I'm nervous, okay!" Rin rambled, pulling out the tie that bound his hair and letting the strands fall to his shoulders. "I'm meeting his parents tomorrow! Who the hell wouldn't be nervous about meeting this boyfriend's parents?!"

"Matsuoka Rin. The redhead with boundless confidence. The land shark. Nervous?"

"Shut up, will you?!"

Sousuke laughed.

Rin groaned.

"You're a jerk, Sousuke."

"I'm just being your friend, Rin."

"Well, you're not helping, _friend_."

"Relax, Rin." Sousuke grinned, leaning forward. "Nanase's parents will like you, just like how your Mom likes Nanase. It'll all work out."

"Easy for you to say." Rin grumbled. "I bet you'll be even more nervous than I am when it's _your_ turn to meet the parents."

"You'll be fine, Rin." Sousuke assured him. "All that matters is that Nanase loves you, right?"

Rin smiled. "Yeah." He sighed. "Yeah, that's right."

 Sousuke could feel that there was more to the whole thing than Rin let on, but he wasn't the type to poke and prod at his friend about issues he probably wasn't comfortable talking about. He would wait for Rin to talk, this was their way. They sat in silence, watching the morning's rays of red and orange mix with the dark blue remnants of the night, waking the world from its slumber and signaling the dawn chorus to start its show.

"So..." Sousuke broke the silence between them, pulling out his phone to check the time. "I'm gonna go ahead."

"So soon?" Rin asked. "It's only six, you usually jog some more."

"I have somewhere to be at eight."

"Where?"

"Makoto's place."

Rin paused, narrowing his eyes at him. "Why?"

"For our date." Sousuke shrugging nonchalantly.

"When did you even have time to _plan_ this?"

"I _did_ walk him home yesterday."

Rin groaned. "Why at _his_ place?"

"He said he didn't want to go out."

"And you have to be early _because_ \--"

"Because..." Sousuke grinned. "He promise he'd make me breakfast."

* * *

Makoto sat on the edge of his bed, towel draped over his head, staring intently at the floor. His damp hair fell over his face, droplets of water dripping from the brown strands, forming a little puddle in the middle of his feet. He could feel the water cooling on his bare chest, knowing that he'd eventually have to stand to grab himself a shirt if he didn't want to get a cold. He remained seated, though, dressed only in his underwear, contemplating what he'd just done in the shower.

He had spent an hour under the spray of water, only half of which was actually used to wash himself thoroughly, the other half spent trying to keep himself from slipping on the wet tile as he pleasured himself to the thought of Yamazaki Sousuke putting his hands all over him. He was aware of the heat rushing to his face, but he preferred that than heat pooling in his groin. He still couldn't believe he allowed himself to do that, to touch himself in places he could hardly even reach while imagining someone he had _just_ met.

He heaved a great sigh, shoulders slumping, guilt eating at his soft heart. He tugged off the towel over his head, swinging it over his shoulder instead, walking towards one of the laundry baskets that served as his temporary closet. He considered buying an actual piece of furniture to hold his clothes as he bent to pick up a plain white t-shirt, but decided he shouldn't get any big furniture until he got a bigger apartment. He moved to dry his hair when a knock sounded at his door. It was loud enough for him to hear it even from his separate bedroom, making him freeze mid-action.

It must have been Sousuke.

He was early.

Panicking, he dropped the towel and practically shoved himself into the shirt, not caring about how it messed up his hair. Opening his bedroom door he realized the knocking on his apartment was louder and more incessant now, making him dash to the front door and almost rip it off its hinges by how violently he pulled it open.

"You're early!"

Sousuke paused mid-knock, his fist still hanging in the air, looking down at Makoto as the shorter boy tried to gather himself. Sousuke couldn't help but notice the droplets of water on the strand's of the other's hair, following one with his eyes as is trailed down the side of Makoto's neck, further dampening the collar of the boy's shirt. Sousuke blinked, realizing that not only had Makoto worn his shirt inside-out, but backwards as well, a little strip of white cloth telling Sousuke exactly what size and material it was. Dropping his gaze even further down, Sousuke had to bite back a smug grin, choosing instead to comment on his host's attire.

"As much as I like the sight of you flustered and blushing..." The raven-haired boy began, "But I really do like to be the only one allowed to see you in a sexy pair of briefs, if you don't mind."

Makoto's eyes widened as he looked down at himself. Sousuke could practically see the gears working in his head, and before the shorter boy could close the door on him to go change, Sousuke took a step forward and stopped its forward momentum. Makoto looked up at him in surprise, Sousuke winking in reply.

"I've been good. I'm here early." He grinned. "So don't slam the door on me, please?"

"B-But I'm--"

"Go in and change, I'll sit on the couch and wait."

Makoto pouted. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"It's technically our first date and..."

"And you greeted me in your underwear."

Makoto blushed.

"I think it's a good way to start a first date, yeah?" Sousuke grinned.

The corners of Makoto's lips curled up into a smile. "I guess."

Sousuke jerked his chin toward the hallway of doors leading to the bedrooms. "Go change already."

Makoto nodded and turned to make his way to his bedroom, giving Sousuke a great view of his ass. Sousuke toed off his shoes, placing them on the shoe rack propped up against the wall. He made his way to the living room, noticing that the only thing separating it from the kitchen was a white counter. The couch took up most of the living room, a medium-sized TV on what appeared to be a coffee table right across from it, Makoto's Wii and its controllers sprawled in front of it.

Sousuke plopped down on the couch, his eyes wandering around the room. He noticed Makoto didn't have any photos around, no personal touch on anything save the different colored throw pillows on his plush green couch. Sousuke picked a teal throw pillow and placed it behind him, settling against it as he closed his eyes for a minute.

He was rudely awakened when a duffel bag suddenly landed on his stomach, a giggling Makoto telling him exactly who the culprit was. "Aww man, what'd I do to deserve that?" Sousuke faked insult, glancing over his shoulder at a fully dressed Makoto, his glasses already perched on his smiling face. "You said you'd make me breakfast if I was early, not throw bags at me."

Makoto smiled at him as he moved to the kitchen, turning his back on Sousuke as he opened some cupboards. "I'm working on breakfast right now, if that makes you happy." He teased, waving a pan and spatula at Sousuke.

Sousuke put his arm on the back of the sofa, leaning in as he gave Makoto a stupid grin. "Scrambled eggs and pancakes?"

"And orange juice." Makoto added. "Perfect breakfast, right?"

Sousuke laughed.

* * *

After breakfast Sousuke managed to convince Makoto to let him wash the dishes, making the brown-haired boy reluctantly go to his room to pick out the things he wanted to bring home with him for the holidays. Just when Sousuke rinsed the last dish and left it to dry, Makoto emerged from his room with an armful of clothes and half a dozen wrapped boxes.

Sousuke couldn't help but smile as Makoto dumped everything on the couch. "Do you really need all that?" he asked, "Don't you have clothes left at home?"

Makoto sat down on the floor, looking up at him with a surprised expression. "Oh, these?" he held up one of the shirts for Sousuke to see, "These aren't for me. I got them for the twins."

"The twins?"

"My younger siblings."

"Twins for younger siblings..." Sousuke mulled, sitting down next to Makoto so their knees bumped. "That must be fun."

Makoto smiled. "It is, really."

"Huh." He picked one of the wrapped boxes, shaking it in his hand. "This is?"

"A gift for my Mom." Makoto answered with another smile. "She loves to garden, actually, so I got her seeds. It's just some herbs, though. I don't think she'll have time to take care of anything high maintenance."

"I see." Sousuke hummed. "And the others?"

"A new toolkit for my Dad." Makoto replied, pointing to the largest box. "A book about relationships for Rin, and before you laugh, Haruka insisted."

Sousuke bit his bottom lip, glancing at Makoto with a twinkle in his eyes. "Nanase insisted?"

"He did!" Makoto nodded. "And I got a cookbook for Haruka, so he can cook more than just mackerel."

"What's with that, though?"

"I don't really know." Makoto shrugged. "He just likes mackerel, has liked it ever since we met."

"And the two other gifts are?"

"A new watch and teddy bear each for the twins."

"And they still get clothes?"

"I spoil them."

"You really shouldn't."

"I like spoiling people."

"And me?"

Makoto glanced at him from under his long lashes, making Sousuke shift his sitting position so their knees didn't touch. "Why would I spoil _you_?"

"Fair enough." Sousuke grinned, shaking his head. "What do you need me to help with?"

The next fifteen minutes was spent folding clothes, which almost bored Sousuke to death if it weren't for the red blush and shy smile that graced Makoto's features whenever their hands brushed or their eyes met. When he purposely paused from folding to stretch out, he noticed Makoto stealing a peak at him from behind his glasses, his green eyes seeming to glaze over when they landed on the patch of skin revealed when Sousuke's shirt hitched up. It made Sousuke wonder just what was going through the shorter boy's mind, making him shyer and blush more than he usually did.

Maybe playing a round of video games would help him find out.

* * *

"That's the last one!" Makoto announced, clothes stuffed into his single duffle, the wrapped presents stacked neatly in a sturdy paper bag. He turned to Sousuke with a smile on his face. "Mario Kart?"

Sousuke laughed. "Really? You were serious about that?"

Makoto shrugged. "Sure."

"Fine. You're on."

Makoto crawled on all fours towards the Wii, knowingly giving Sousuke a great view of his ass, wondering if the raven-haired boy would notice if he wiggled it a little. Shaking the ridiculous idea from his mind, he plugged in the console, turning both it and the television on. He grabbed the controllers before crawling back to take his position on the floor beside Sousuke, handing the him one as the loading screen appeared.

"I really hope you like Rainbow Road." Makoto mumbled under his breath, smiling.

"Wait, what?"

It took three minutes flat for Makoto to totally wreck Sousuke on Rainbow Road. His shoulders shook from silent laughter as he looked at Sousuke, wide-eyed and staring, hands barely clutching at the controller. His aquamarine eyes turned to look at Makoto, making the shorter boy laugh harder at the pure shock in them.

"What _was that_?!" Sousuke finally spoke.

"R-Rainbow R-Road." Makoto stuttered, trying to reel in his laughter.

"Yeah, I kinda got that. You're driving on a winding rainbow of death." Sousuke laughed. "I've never played this game before, the least you could have done was cut me some slack."

"You've _never_ played before?!" Makoto exclaimed. "And you sounded so confident on the phone! Shame on you, Yamazaki Sousuke!"

Sousuke leaned back, shrugging. "I know the game from Rin. It sounded easy."

"Easy?" Makoto was incredulous. "Rin has never beat Haru in this game."

"Well, that's something I never knew." A slow grin spread across Sousuke's face, and he gestured toward Makoto with his controller. "Show me how to play it."

Another fifteen minutes and a very long tutorial later, Sousuke managed to come second to Makoto in another race. The playful grin on his face and the way he pumped his fist in the air told Makoto that Sousuke was definitely having more fun than he intended. They played on for another hour or so, Sousuke insisting they race every track and Makoto thoroughly beating him in each and every one. They paused their mini-competition to order pizza for lunch, Sousuke joking that we was going to be out of shape if he didn't stop having pizza, Makoto chastising him that with how much he exercise gaining weight wasn't really a problem. Sitting on the couch with Makoto's duffle on the floor, they were each on their third slice of pizza, on their second attempt at Rainbow Road, when the unexpected happened.

Sousuke used a blue shell on Makoto.

"No!" Makoto screamed, reduced to a button mashing rage as Sousuke raced past him. It didn't help that Sousuke opted to use Luigi, making Makoto grit his teeth at the look of absolute evil the green plumber gave his Mario. "That was unfair! I didn't know you had a blue shell!"

"Too focused on being first, huh?" Sousuke teased, lightly bumping him with his shoulder. "You've gone undefeated long enough, I think it's about time I win for a change."

"Sousuke!" Makoto whined, worriedly chewing his bottom lip. "I just thought you how to play! How can you be so good?!"

"I'm a fast learner."

"Well, unlearn!"

Sousuke laughed, crossing the finish line at first, Makoto a few paces behind at fourth. The brown-haired boy leaned back on the couch, plopping his controller between his crossed legs, pouting at the man beside him. "I can't believe you blue-shelled me!" he exclaimed, miffed. "You didn't even know what a blue shell was for an hour ago!"

"Like I said, I'm a fast learner." Sousuke grinned, leaning back so their shoulders touched. "We've been playing for more than an hour, I was bound to win at some point."

Makoto still pouted, crossing his arms. "I'm gonna have to tell Ren and Ran someone finally beat me."

"Aw, embarrassed to tell them you lost at a video game?"

"No!" Makoto grumbled, staring at the floor. "It's just that, well, no one's beaten me at this yet."

"Not even Nanase, right?"

"Yeah."

"Hmmm..." Sousuke hummed, bumping Makoto's shoulder. "Does that make me a little better than him?"

That got a smile out of Makoto. "Jealous of Haru?"

"Not really."

"Not even a little?"

"Why should I be?"

"Hmmm..." Makoto echoed Sousuke, glancing at him from under his long lashes. "Did you know Haru was my first kiss?"

Sousuke froze. "What?"

Makoto smiled playfully, letting his controller fall to the floor as he leaned on Sousuke's shoulder. "It was a long time ago, in elementary school." He began, drawing his knees against his chest and resting his chin on them. "We were kids and Haru cooked for me while I was over at his house. I kissed him and told him I wanted to marry him.

"You wanted to marry him just for that?!" Sousuke laughed.

"I know." Makoto chuckled, hiding his face. "I was hungry and it just happened that Haru cooked for me. It was really childish."

"And you still consider it your first kiss?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"Jealous now?"

"Pfft, no way."

"I tried."

"I'd say try harder. But while we're on the topic of kisses, though..." Sousuke began slowly, turning in the sofa so he faced Makoto, removing his glasses and placing them carefully on top of his duffle bag. "Where's mine?"

"What?" Makoto sat up straight, surprised.

"You promised me a kiss, didn't you?"

"I said if you were nicer you'd get a real kiss."

"Wasn't I nice?"

"You beat me in Mario Kart." Makoto teased, smirking. "That wasn't nice."

"Seriously?" Sousuke groaned, Makoto giggling at his disappointment. "I don't get a kiss now?"

"Well, we haven't played Smash Brothers yet..."

"I don't know that game."

"Do you do _anything_ but practice?"

Sousuke shrugged.

"Why do you practice so hard?" Makoto asked, scooting himself closer.

Sousuke raised an eyebrow at him but didn't comment when Makoto allowed him to drape his right arm on the back of the couch, scooting even closer until he was practically leaning on Sousuke's chest. "Will I get my kiss if I answer that question?"

"Maybe." Makoto teased, blushing lightly. "Depends on your answer."

Sousuke hung his head for a moment, his hair falling over his face. "Alright, fine. I don't really need to practice so hard" He smiled warily. "Coach said I should cut myself some slack, maybe not try so hard so much. Mikoshiba-san, that's our captain, said I shouldn't let myself burn out too early. Rin, that bastard, actually told me to get a life. Can you believe it?"

"Yeah, actually, I can." Makoto giggled, nodding his head. "Why do you still do it, though?"

"My Dad." Sousuke answered, the playful gleam in his eyes replaced by a detached hardness that tugged at Makoto's heart. "All this? The football scholarship, getting drafted to the national team, the never-ending practice and conditioning? His idea. I don't like football as much as he does. If I had the choice, I'd quit."

"Oh." Makoto frowned, hugging his knees closer. "None of this was included in your plan for yourself?"

"No." Sousuke shook his head. "All I wanted was my Engineering degree. I'm actually smart enough to get an academic scholarship, you know."

Makoto nodded. "You could quit, then. Get yourself the scholarship. Turn your back on football and follow your own dreams."

"I could yeah..."

"But?"

Sousuke took a deep breath, letting it out in a loud sigh. "But, as pathetic as I sound, I'm actually scared of disappointing my Dad."

Makoto placed his left hand on Sousuke's thigh, squeezing. When Sousuke turned to look at him, he offered the taller boy a shy smile, not moving his hand from where it rested. "You're not pathetic, so don't ever call yourself that." He said matter-of-factly, shaking his head. "You're giving up your own plans for your Dad's. I say that's pretty selfless and loving of you. Not pathetic. Never pathetic."

"Thanks." Sousuke smiled weakly. "I've never told anyone about this. They wouldn't understand."

"They'll think you're crazy for throwing away an opportunity like this, right?" Makoto asked.

"Yeah." Sousuke nodded. "They don't get that, why I'd exchange the rush of the field for the quiet of a library." He winked at Makoto, causing the shorter boy to blush a little. "I like playing, yeah, but I don't want to make a career out of it."

"It's a pretty dangerous career choice." Makoto added, the possibility of Sousuke injuring himself on the field just sinking in as he spoke. "You could get seriously hurt."

I'm guessing you don't want me to get hurt."

"Of course not!" Makoto exclaimed, frowning. "Anyone with a heart wouldn't!"

"A heart, huh?" Sousuke murmured, reaching out with his left hand, brushing away the stray strands of hair that fell over Makoto's face. "I wonder if I have one, too."

Makoto's expression softened, and he turned to face Sousuke, smiling as he covered Sousuke's hand with his. "You have one. You just gotta look for it."

Sousuke smiled but shook his head. "Do you know what I had planned, Makoto?" he asked suddenly.

"No."

"Do you want to know?"

Makoto nodded.

"The first time I saw you, earlier this year when I walked into the library to pick up some research material and you were there reading behind the counter... Well, just one look at you and I knew. I wanted you." Sousuke grinned, pulling Makoto closer until he straddled Sousuke's lean thighs, Makoto's left hand braced on the raven-haired boy's hard chest, the other still intertwined with Sousuke's. " I didn't understand it then, told Rin nothing about it, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I just fucking wanted you."

Makoto blushed, shaking his head. "But you're straight."

"That's what the magazines and other students say." Sousuke placed his free hand on the small of Makoto's back, dipping under Makoto's shirt and caressing the patch of skin there. "That's not what I say."

Makoto shivered. "W-What do you say?"

Sousuke leaned forward, his lips kissing a line from Makoto's neck up to the sensitive skin behind his ear, nipping at it gently until Makoto moaned. "I say I'm bisexual. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since that day, and..." He pulled back, a wicked gleam in his eye as he took Makoto in, all flushed and breathing heavily. "And my thoughts of you sure as hell aren't anything a straight man should have."

Makoto slid his left hand up Sousuke's chest, resting it on his shoulder, his right wiggling itself out of Sousuke's grip and sliding up to rest on the back of Sousuke's neck. "I think it's time I gave you that kiss." He grinned playfully, leaning in to capture Sousuke's lips.

The moment their lips met it was like a fire was lit in Makoto's heart, making it ache and yearn to be even closer to Sousuke. He wound both his arms around Sousuke's neck, pulling the raven-haired boy closer as Sousuke nibbled on his bottom lip, his larger hands sliding under Makoto's shirt to run up his sides, stopping right next to his sensitive nipples. Makoto moaned into the kiss as Sousuke's thumbs circled his pebbling nipples, thrusting his tongue into Makoto's mouth. Sousuke kissed like he wanted to memorize every part of Makoto's mouth, his tongue grazing over Makoto's teeth, his cheeks, the top of his mouth, before tangling with Makoto's own in an erotic frenzy that made Makoto grind into Sousuke's abs.

When they parted to suck in air, Makoto raised his hands for Sousuke to pull his shirt up and off, desperate to feel Sousuke's naked skin on his as he tugged on the raven-haired boy's sweater. Sousuke chuckled as he pulled his sweater up from being tucked in, letting out a grunt as Makoto slid his hands under the fabric and caressed his abs. Makoto's gentle fingers made their way to his chest, pushing him harder against the sofa, the other boy's mouth back on his and deliciously sucking on his tongue. He let Makoto pull off his shirt, wrapping his arms around the shorter boy's waist, pulling him even closer to feel the slide of his naked skin.

Sousuke dragged his right hand up into Makoto's hair, grabbing a handful of it and tugging until their lips separated and he could finally get a good look at the brown-haired boy. His green eyes were even more beautiful when they were unfocused and glazed over, his pale skin gorgeously flushed red, his breath coming out in short bursts as he parted his kiss-swollen lips. He looked better than Sousuke had ever imagined he would, making his cock harden and strain against the confinement of his jeans. Makoto seemed to notice his predicament, and the little devil slowly slid his crease over Sousuke's hard length through the fabric, wrenching a growl from the raven-haired boy as he repeated the action.

With his hand still in Makoto's hair, Sousuke tugged until the brown-haired boy's throat was exposed to him. He went for the sensitive bit of skin that connected Makoto's neck to his shoulder, biting, sucking, licking, relishing in the beautiful red bruise it made on Makoto's skin. He made more marks across the expanse of Makoto's chest, stopping to lap at the shorter boy's nipple, sucking it into his mouth and running his tongue over it. He marked his way to the other one, giving it as much attention as he did its twin, making Makoto writhe and buck into him, moaning his name in a way that made Sousuke almost lost his mind.

He made his way back up Makoto's body, resting his chin on the shorter boy's shoulder as he slid his hands down to grip at Makoto's hips. They sat for a moment, breathing heavily, trying to gather their senses. That was, until Makoto whispered, breath hot against his ear.

"Want to take this to my bedroom?"

Sousuke let out a sigh, his grip tightening on Makoto's hip. "Wrap those pretty legs around me tight, Glasses, and hang on." He leaned forward to give Makoto space to wrap his legs around hips, his arms sliding around Sousuke's neck to grip at his shoulders. Grabbing Makoto's perfect round ass and squeezing tight, Sousuke grinned at the sigh that escaped Makoto's mouth. Makoto was big, his body built almost the same as his was, but Sousuke was confident he could support both their weight. Standing up, he was glad he didn't even stumble as he made his way to Makoto's bedroom door, pressing the boy against it to steal another kiss.

Makoto unwrapped his legs from Sousuke's body, letting the taller boy place him on his feet, glad that he was pressed tightly against the door that his shaky legs wouldn't have him falling face first on the ground. Never breaking the kiss, he let go of Sousuke's shoulders and reached behind him to turn the knob. Hooking his fingers on Sousuke's belt loops, he dragged the taller boy inside by his pants, stopping when he felt the edge of the bed hit the back of his knee.

Sousuke released his lips and looked at him. He looked shyly back, his hands still on Sousuke's belt loops. "Can I?" he asked, tugging on the taller boy's pants.

"Can you what?" Sousuke teased, the wicked gleam in his eyes never fading.

Makoto pouted, stepping closer, notching himself in the space between Sousuke's legs, fitting perfectly like that's where he was meant to be. "Do I _have_ to say it?" he asked, fingers idly running over Sousuke's belt. "It's embarrassing."

Sousuke grinned, kissing his cheek tenderly. "I really, really want you to suck me." He placed his hands on either side of Makoto's neck, his thumbs tipping Makoto's chin up so their eyes met. "But not now."

Makoto blushed harder.

"God, you're cute." Sousuke chuckled at his reaction, placing a chase kiss on his closed lips. "I want to make _you_ feel good, Makoto. Will you let me?"

Makoto swallowed the lump that formed in his throat, nodding numbly. He let Sousuke push him down to the bed until he was seated. Sousuke's face scrunched up at the inconvenience of having the bed shoved against the wall, prompting a shy chuckle to escape from Makoto's lips. He swung his legs unto the mattress, rolling over on all fours to crawl towards his headboard, stopping then to roll over on his back and plop himself down on his unmade bed. He stretched himself out, arms raised over his head and gripping at the sheets. He heard a low growl come from Sousuke before the raven-haired boy placed a hand beside his head, leaning down and capturing his lips in yet another bruising kiss. Sousuke couldn't seem to stop kissing him, and he wasn't sure if he wanted Sousuke to get sick of it.

Raising his arms to Sousuke's chest, he pushed lightly, giving them an inch of space between their lips. "T-There's lube and condoms in my top drawer." He panted, returning Sousuke's chaste kiss earlier with one of his own. "Are you sure about this?"

"Are you?" Sousuke asked, concerned.

Makoto ignored the small part of his brain nagging at him that this was wrong, that somewhere along the road Sousuke was gonna regret doing this with him, that Sousuke was just curious and would leave him once his curiosity was sated. He gave Sousuke what he was hoping was a reassuring smile, reaching to tuck a strand of inky black hair behind the boy's ear. "I'm sure."

Sousuke caught Makoto's hand just before he pulled away, kissing his fingers and his palm before turning to grab the condoms and lube from Makoto's drawer. He dropped them beside the brown-haired angel, crawling onto the bed to position himself on top of him, his heated gaze raking over the smattering of fresh love bites on Makoto's chest and neck.

He kissed his way down Makoto's torso, lingering a few inches above Makoto's groin, making him squirm as he darted his tongue in and out of the brown-haired angel's navel. Sousuke proceeded lower, biting at the grooves of either side of Makoto's hips, stopping to look lock eyes with Makoto before proceeding to pull off his sweats and underwear.

Makoto's cock bobbed up in the air, hard and needy and already leaking. Makoto moaned when Sousuke breathed on it, his strong hand keeping a hold over his hip as he wrenched the last of Makoto's clothes completely off. With a wicked grin, he curled his hand around Makoto's weeping erection, running his thumb across the slit, coating the head in precum. Makoto writhed, bucking upward but held down by Sousuke's hand on his hip.

"Sousuke--" Makoto moaned when Sousuke's hand moved away, returning only moments later wet and slick with lube. He gripped the base of Makoto's cock loosely, teasingly, bringing his hand all the way up then sliding down, the sensations sending shivers all over Makoto's body. "G-Grip harder--"

"You sure?" Sousuke asked, his voice concerned. "It won't hurt--"

"It won't hurt me!" Makoto was sure he was whining, wanting Sousuke to touch him, make him feel the strength in those wonderful hands, dominate him like he knew only someone like Sousuke could. "Grip it like you would yours."

Sousuke's grip tightened pleasurably, Sousuke's thumb stroking along the prominent vein of his cock, slowly dragging up and around the head. "Y-Yeah, l-l-like that--" Makoto panted, fisting the sheets above him. "P-Please, Sousuke! T-Touch me, please!"

Sousuke let out a shaky breath, reaching over to grab one of Makoto's hands and replacing it on the shorter boy's cock. "Show me, Makoto." He growled, unbuttoning his pants and shoving them off along with his briefs. "Show me how you want me to touch you."

Makoto whimpered as he gripped his own cock, squeezing it just as Sousuke had, his other hand reaching for the lube and flipping the cap open. He poured out a generous amount over his twitching cock, letting the cool liquid flow down to his balls. He drew his knees close to his chest, bending himself in half to allow the lube to flow lower, down to his quivering hole, coating it until it was slick enough for him to slip in a finger.

Sousuke grabbed one of the pillows by Makoto's head, putting it under his lover's hips when his legs started quivering. He watched in awe as Makoto continued to finger himself, his own cock hard and needy at the sight of the brown-haired boy preparing himself for Sousuke's cock. With a loud growl, he grabbed hold of Makoto's hand and pulled it away from his hole. "I'll take over from here." He grinned, moving Makoto's legs until they both hung on his shoulders, the position giving him more access to the shorter boy's entrance. He reached for the lube, emptying the last of its contents into his hand, two slick fingers circling Makoto's entrance before plunging inside, Makoto arching his back at the sudden breach, both his hands going up to fist at the sheets.

"Shit, Makoto--" Sousuke grunted, fingers scissoring in Makoto's channel. "You're so tight. How long has it been?"

Makoto blushed a beautiful shade of red, Sousuke's marks on him standing out brighter across his skin. "T-Three years--" he panted, arching off the bed as Sousuke added a third finger. "That-That feels really good--"

Sousuke leaned forward to bump their noses playfully. "Not bad for a first timer?"

Makoto giggled, downright giggled, sending shivers of desire that directly went to Sousuke's cock. "Not bad. P-Pretty good, actually."

Sousuke grinned, crushing Makoto's lips with his just as his fingers curled against Makoto's prostate, causing the brown-haired boy to buck up so strongly Sousuke lost his grip on his hip and Makoto's cock actually rubbed itself against Sousuke's abs. Sousuke chuckled, licking down and opening his mouth against the base of Makoto's throat, sucking hard, leaving even more marks, loving how they looked on Makoto. "Careful there, Glasses." He teased, the hand not fingering the boy under him resuming its position on Makoto's hip. "Wouldn't want there to be any accidents in bed, right?"

Makoto's mouth opened to retort, but a loud moan escaped instead when Sousuke deliberately grazed against his prostrate once again. "S-Stop teasing already!" He whined, unashamed. "Just fuck me!"

"Pushy, aren't ya?"

"Sousuke!"

The raven-haired boy's lips returned to his favorite spot by Makoto's ear, his hot breath tickling the sensitive skin. "I don't want to hurt you." He said seriously, leaning back on his haunches, his hand sliding from Makoto's hip to grip at his leg draped over Sousuke's shoulder. The heat and pure unadulterated need in Sousuke's aquamarine eyes made Makoto catch his breath, but the care and love that hid behind the glaze of sex pulled at his heart.

Love, huh.

No, too early for that.

Makoto let go of the sheets, reaching out to cup Sousuke cheek, offering him a reassuring smile. "You won't hurt me, Sousuke." He said, running his thumb along Sousuke's lower lip. "You won't ever hurt me."

Sousuke nodded, picking up a condom and tearing it open with his teeth. Rolling it on, he leaned in to give Makoto a long lingering kiss before aligning his cock with Makoto's hole and pushing in.

God, he was _huge_.

The initial breach stretched Makoto so far it made him cry out, breathing heavily as he clutched at the sheets for dear life. He steadied his breathing, relaxing his muscles like he learned to do all those years ago. Sousuke looked at him, his eyes clouded with so much concern and care, a look Makoto never had directed his way. He gave a shy smile as he raised himself up a little higher, the position helping to open him up farther, allowing Sousuke to enter him slowly, inch by delicious inch, filling Makoto like he'd always wanted to be filled.

When Sousuke was finally buried to the hilt, his thick length stretching Makoto's channel, making him regulate his breathing so as not to overwhelm himself. He looked up and their eyes met, burning aquamarine merging with blazing emerald. Makoto let his head fall back, whimpering. "Sousuke, please, move!"

Sousuke took that as all the permission he needed. He withdrew from Makoto's quivering channel almost all the way out, thrusting hard back into him 'till his balls slapped against Makoto's ass. Makoto moaned and whimpered, finding the rhythm that suited them, meeting Sousuke thrust-per-thrust, Sousuke easily finding the angle that hit Makoto's prostate just right it made the angel see stars.

"Sousuke!" Makoto yelled when Sousuke picked up his pace, slamming into him harder and faster, the sound of skin on skin the only thing they could hear. "God, Sousuke, I'm almost there!"

"Jerk yourself off, damn it!" Sousuke barked, both hands now gripping Makoto's waist. "I don't know how to do it, yet. Shit, Makoto, I can't be the only one enjoying this!"

"Y -Y-You're not the only one e-e-enjoying!" Makoto panted, his ability to speak highly compromised. "I-I don-don't need to touch myself. Sousuke, harder, please!"

Makoto could feel the growl that came from Sousuke's chest rumble all the way through him, fueling on his orgasm until he was teetering on the edge. Sousuke pounded into him harder, pulling almost all the way out and slamming into him again and again and again, hitting his magic spot every time, his cock weeping and so damn hard it was almost physically painful. "So-So close! Sousuke! I-I-I'm so close!" he moaned, arching off the bed.

"Come for me, Makoto!" Sousuke leaned forward, mauling his lips, their tongues intertwining in a dance they had perfected in just a couple of hours.

"Sousuke!" Makoto screamed as he came, Sousuke's lips kissing down his jaw as he spurted into his stomach, Sousuke riding him through his orgasm, Sousuke's own orgasm well on the way, fueled by the delicious clenching of Makoto's ass. With a growl Sousuke came, biting down on Makoto's shoulder as he released into the condom.

Sousuke lay on top of him while they gathered their breaths, both of them sweaty and tired and incredibly sated. Sousuke tiredly pushed himself up with both his arms on either side of Makoto, a lazy grin on his face. "Well, that was way better that just a kiss." He chuckled, placing a gentle kiss on Makoto's nose. He carefully slid out of Makoto and tied the condom, swinging his legs over the bed to sit up. "Where's your bathroom, Glasses?"

Makoto groaned, covering his face with his arms. "Are you really sticking with that nickname?"

"Do you hate it?"

Makoto peaked at him, considering the question. "Not really." He shrugged. "But I would like you to call me by my name too, you know."

"Oh?" Sousuke raised an eyebrow at him, all smug and wicked after sex. "Okay, _Makoto_ , care to tell me where your bathroom is?"

Makoto childishly stuck his tongue out, Sousuke staring at him for a split-second before bursting into laughter. It was infectious, the raven-haired boy's laughter, and soon Makoto was laughing with him. "Alright, alright." Makoto chuckled. "The moment you leave this room, the first door you see in front of you, that's the bathroom."

"Gotcha." Sousuke winked, placing another kiss on Makoto's nose.

Makoto watched Sousuke walk away from him, admiring the how the muscled arms and broad shoulders tapered to a lean waist and toned legs, his tight ass not a bad sight either. Makoto closed his eyes and wondered just what a guy like Sousuke saw in him. He said he knew he wanted Makoto the moment he first saw them, but in what way did Sousuke really want him? Did he want him as a boyfriend? Friends with benefits? A fuck buddy?

Oh.

They _did_ fuck, didn't they?

Oh shit.

Makoto groaned, hiding his face in his hands. This went exactly like his fantasy had earlier, but that wasn't what he wanted reality to be. Who fucked on the first date, anyway? The only things you did on a first date were awkwardly get to know each other, find some sort of common ground, maybe even kiss at the front door when the date ended. Getting in bed together? That was so not something you did on a first date. Not. At. All.

Makoto could faintly hear the door click open, Sousuke's feet shuffling around the room. A sense of dread seized his heart and he was suddenly terrified he made the biggest mistake in his life. Sousuke was definitely going to change back into his clothes, maybe even thank Makoto for the quick fuck, and then leave him alone in his apartment like nothing happened. Makoto would have to pretend what they did didn't meant anything at all, even though deep inside, Makoto knew that was a lie.

He was so stupid to believe he had even the slightest chance with Yamazaki Sousuke.

Distracted by his own self-doubt, Makoto squeaked in surprise as the distinct feeling of a wet cloth landed on his chest before gliding down to rest at his abs. He opened his arms and looked down to see Sousuke gazing fondly at him, dressed only in his underwear, a wet washcloth in his hand. Sousuke wiped off Makoto's drying spunk from his abs, tenderly lifting the shorter boy's legs to reach his ass and clean off the excess lube.

"I hope you don't mind, but I went ahead and cleaned myself up in the bathroom." Sousuke grinned sheepishly, wiping down some of the cum that the condom didn't catch that ran down Makoto's leg. "I also grabbed a few towels to clean _you_ off. So just lie there and let me take care of things, 'kay?" Sousuke placed the wet washcloth on the floor and grabbed a dry one, repeating the process of wiping off Makoto's body. Makoto just watched his every move, his heart growing more and more attached at the man who treated him like he was the most important person in the world.

When he stood to put both washcloths back in the bathroom, Makoto didn't doubt anymore that Sousuke was coming back to him. Moments later he sat beside Makoto again, offering him a pair of underwear he teasingly swore he grabbed from Makoto's clean set of laundry. After putting them on Makoto was even more surprised when Sousuke told him to make room in the bed. He slid his larger body underneath the sheets, tucking Makoto's head to his chest, nuzzling his brown hair with his nose before kissing the top of his head.

Sousuke fell asleep moment after that, happy and sated with the person he's always wanted snuggled close in his arms. Makoto listened to the raven-haired boy's heartbeat for a few minutes longer before letting his eyes close, slowly drifting to sleep thinking it wasn't so bad to let himself fall for Sousuke after all.

* * *

Makoto would have slept longer if only his hunger would allow it, but only having pizza for lunch and skipping dinner for sex and a nap made his stomach angry enough to wake him up in the middle of the night. He reached for the body pressed closely to his only moments ago, only for his hand to grab at nothing but an empty sheet.

Opening his eyes he was disappointed to see his bed devoid of the raven-haired beauty who he so desperately wanted to share it with. He listened for a moment, hoping Sousuke had just woken up before him and was walking around the living room. The apartment was quiet aside from the beating of his own heart and Makoto had to keep himself from crying.

He reached for his cellphone, hoping it was on his bedside just where he left it that morning, his fingers brushing over something that oddly felt like paper. He grabbed the notebook sheet and held it up against the glare of the streetlights that filtered in through his curtains, straining his eyes to read what was written on it.

_Makoto,_

_Dad called. He wanted to know where I was. Something about not slacking off even during the holidays._  
_He's a little more on edge because there's a game's coming up soon. He would have given me a day off, otherwise._  
 _I really wanted to sleep next to you. It's a beautiful experience, watching your eyes flutter behind your eyelids_  
 _when you're dreaming, how you let out these contented little sighs whenever I pull you close and kiss you._  
 _Too bad I have to keep training. Shit. I would trade this for the chance to wake up next to you any day._  
 _I'll call if I get the chance, but if not then email will have to do. Enjoy your holidays._

_Sousuke._

Makoto wiped at his eyes and smiled, clutching the letter closer to his heart. Sousuke hadn't abandoned him after all. Makoto felt guilty for doubting him when he was being so honest and nice. But Makoto wasn't used to his, the guy that came out of nowhere. It would take him time to adjust, to understand how to approach whatever it was going on between him and Sousuke. Maybe spending two days alone with his family would help get his mind off things. Surely his Mom would have some advice for him.

And then there was Haruka, who seemed to know more about these kinds of relationships than he was letting on. Makoto would be spending the day after Christmas with him while Rin spent it with his own family. They could talk privately about everything, and Haruka wouldn't judge him too harshly. He'd probably tell Makoto the only person who judged him harshly was himself.

He smiled to himself again, hunger forgotten, folding the letter neatly and placing in under his phone so it wouldn't fly away. Making himself comfortable on the bed, he slept facing Sousuke's side of the bed, not really all that bothered about being left dreaming alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the delay on this, but a lot of things happened with this chapter, thus the change in rating. Also, I hadn't had time to properly look over this chapter, so please forgive any errors. And as always, comments/critique/rants are appreciated! Happy reading!


	4. Talk To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Makoto doesn't know how to face his feelings, and Sousuke runs away from his. But they talk about it anyway.

"Are you ready, Makoto?"

The sound of his best friend's voice jarred Makoto away from his straying thoughts. He sat in the backseat of Rin's sleek red BMW, his full duffel bag next to him, fidgeting with the presents on his lap. Haruka had leaned over to look at him from the passenger seat, his eyes clouding over with a look of concern.

Makoto gave him a reassuring smile and nodded. "I'm ready, Haru." He said, turning to smile at Rin when he too glanced back at him. "Why do you both keep looking at me? I'm fine!"

Haruka raised an eyebrow.

Rin gave him a once over.

Both sighed.

"What?"

"I know it's cold, Makoto, but you're overdoing the layers." Rin replied, his eyes roaming over Makoto's body again, taking in the long-sleeved turtleneck he wore over his pea coat and the big fluffy scarf he was now burying his face under. "Are you hiding something?"

Makoto quickly ducked to hide his blush, but Haruka caught him. "You _are_ hiding something." Haruka said slowly, tilting his head, adopting that expression on his face that Makoto knew meant his best friend was thinking.

Better to stop his thoughts now before he realized exactly what Makoto was hiding.

"Hey, why isn't Gou-chan with us again?" Makoto changed the subject, avoiding Haruka's gaze.

Rin took the bait. "She's spending the holidays with my family, remember?" Rin scoffed, catching Haruka's attention when he reached back to grab at the latter's seat, carefully maneuvering the car out of the parking space outside their apartment. "Haru spent last year's holidays with my Mom, so it's only fair I spent this year's with his parents."

"You don't have to if you don't want to." Haruka replied.

"It's unfair to your parents if you're always with me, you know. Besides..." Rin continued, easing the car into the highway. "Isn't it about time I introduce myself to your parents?"

Haruka was quiet, looking out the passenger window. "I guess..." He murmured softly, "I told them about you. They're kind of excited to meet you."

"See? Everything works out." Rin grinned. "What about you, Makoto?"

"I already told my family Haru'd be with you this time." Makoto replied, purposely avoiding the look Haruka sends him. "They were kind of disappointed that I didn't have anyone to bring home with me this year."

"What about Sousuke?"

"He's..." Makoto mumbled. "He's busy... He said he'd call, though..."

Haruka looked skeptical.

Rin shrugged his shoulders.

Makoto was grateful they didn't prod further.

It wasn't that he didn't want Rin and Haruka to know about what happened between him and Sousuke, but it was just so new that Makoto felt like he was going to jinx it by talking about it. Just that morning he spent fifteen minutes sitting in bed reading Sousuke's note to assure himself last night wasn't a dream, and when he got out of the shower, he marveled at the red marks peppering his neck and shoulders, trying to hold on to the memory of Sousuke's lips and his tongue and his teeth. He knew it was irrational and completely uncharacteristic of him, but he wished the marks never went away, even if it meant wearing high-collared shirts and scarves all his life. It would be a small price to pay in exchange for having Sousuke's marks all over him.

Makoto sighed, looking out the car window at the changing scenery outside, admiring the way buildings and pavement slowly changed into trees and hillside. The voices of his companions mixed together like a buzz in the back of his head, their conversation going through one ear and passing out the other. He'd been in this situation often, riding in the backseat of Rin's car while Haru rode in front, that he knew sometimes his silence was appreciated. He didn't feel like talking now, anyway.

Instead, he wondered if Sousuke had a car. Would he find himself sitting next to Sousuke as they drove through the countryside? Would Sousuke take the time to meet his parents, and would he introduce Makoto to his as well? Would they bicker like Haruka and Rin, over petty things like what they packed and where they'd stop by for lunch?

One day, if he and Sousuke were to ever get together, would they have the same aura of domestic bliss that seemed to follow Rin and Haruka everywhere?

"Makoto?" Haruka's voice jarred him from his thoughts. He hadn't noticed they'd stopped, finally taking in the familiar site of the houses on the hill to his left and the beautiful waters of the beach to his right. They were in Iwatobi already, parked on the side of the road in front of a little convenience store. They'd probably travelled for an hour already and Makoto hadn't even notice.

He didn't want Haruka to know that, though. He schooled his face into a smile and nodded at his best friend. "You're getting lunch, right? I'll just have a sandwich."

"I told Rin you'd probably say that." Haruka answered in a monotone, briefly looking out the driver's side window. "He asked you, but you didn't reply."

"Sorry. I was distracted."

"Do you..." Haruka hesitated, meeting his gaze through the rearview mirror. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Makoto was surprised.

It was very unusual for Haruka to ask if he wanted to talk. Normally, Makoto would just talk about anything and everything, while Haruka preferred to be the silent listener. There were even times he wondered if Haruka was actually listening, so he'd stop talking, and Haruka would grunt to tell him to proceed. He must have been pretty obvious for Haruka to have noticed something was going on. He leaned back on the backseat, burying his face in his large scarf, taking a deep breath to gather his thoughts before he spoke.

"Haru... Have you ever made a mistake?" He began, biting at his lower lip.

Haruka looked straight ahead, his expression thoughtful. "I have."

"I think... I think I made a mistake..." Makoto replied, smiling ruefully. "But, it didn't feel like a mistake. It should have been, considering the circumstances, but Haru... It didn't feel like it... It felt..."

"It felt right."

Makoto looked up to see his best friend staring straight at him from the rearview mirror. There was a sharpness to his blue gaze, and Makoto could tell he wasn't looking at the street anymore. He was looking at memories, some of which Makoto was sure Haruka hadn't told him yet. One day, when Haruka was ready, he'd probably tell Makoto about it.

"You went against the rules that you set for yourself, and you thought that would mean what you did was a mistake." Haruka sighed, shaking his head. "But sometimes, what feels like a mistake is actually the right thing to do."

"What do you mean by that, Haru?"

Haruka shook his head, clearing his thoughts. "I don't really know."

Makoto opened his mouth to say something, but Rin emerged from the convenience store carrying plastic bags. He had to pause his conversation with Haruka in favor of eating the sandwich Rin had handed over to him. Haruka seemed content not to explain his words any further, but Makoto thought he had an inkling of what he actually meant.

He made a mistake.

But maybe, just maybe, it was a necessary mistake.

* * *

"Do you think you can run more?"

Sousuke ducked his head, hoping his Dad hadn't seen him scowl and grit his teeth. He'd been on the treadmill a solid two hours now, his calves were starting to burn like crazy, and his Dad just stood there with his arms crossed and his brows furrowed. The disappointment in his tone set Sousuke on edge, and he wondered just how far his Dad was going to push him for this stupid game.

"I've been running for two hours, Dad." Sousuke couldn't keep the bitterness out of his tone. "There's a risk of injury if I run too much, you know."

His Dad narrowed his eyes, shaking his head as Sousuke began to adjust the treadmill to a slow walk. "Can't have that when the game's so close." He tapped the clipboard in his hands on Sousuke's bicep before turning to over to read some sort of checklist. Sousuke really didn't care, he just wanted his calves to stop screaming at him to stop. Grabbing the towel slung over his shoulder, Sousuke wiped away the sweat dripping off his face and neck.

"You haven't been neglecting your arms, have you?" His Dad asked, making him roll his eyes behind the cover of the white towel.

"No, Dad. Arm Day was yesterday, I didn't forget." Sousuke lied. He had given up conditioning his arms for a day with Makoto, but his Dad didn't really need to know about that. He smiled at the memory of the way Makoto's skin flushed a beautiful shade of red, the way he bit his lip after he moaned too loud, the way Makoto screamed his name when he came. Sousuke shook his head to keep the memories away, knowing if he thought more about the green-eyed angel, he'd get hard.

"Sousuke?" His Dad's voice was like a bucket of cold water, bringing him back to a reality he currently had no interest in. "I know it's Christmas Eve and all, son, but the big game's on Friday so--"

"I get it, Dad." Sousuke interrupted, tossing his white towel on the nearby bench. "The game comes first. I'll get a break when it's over. Right?"

The way his Dad's face lit up made Sousuke want to punch him. "That is if you win the game, son." His Dad exclaimed in an all-too-happy voice that clawed at Sousuke's straining patience. "Go rest up. I'll call you for lunch. Training a little after."

Sousuke quickly grabbed his bag from the bench, longing for the privacy of his own room and the comfort of a long hot shower. Reaching his room, he quickly stripped out of his sweaty clothing, dumping it into a laundry basket by the door, then all but jumped into the shower.

The Yamazaki home was a rather spacious two-story 4LDK structure located in the Saitama Prefecture, and although Sousuke used to love the quiet peace the house offered him, that same quiet peace was now strangling him. He hated to admit it, but he'd rather be at the dorm he shared with fourteen other guys than is his own house. Because there it would be too loud to get lost in his own thoughts, and here he had nothing but silence to accompany him.

Silence, and his Dad.

He let his head fall forward, enjoying the warmth of the water that pounded on the tight knots of his back, his legs still aching from the run. He thought about when his Mom used to live with them, how she would have already offered to massage his legs for him by now, knowing how much the constant heavy training was affecting his body. They had a fight about that, long ago when he was in his first year of high school.

His Dad wanted him to join the football team, to train hard and eventually make it to the National Team.

His Mom thought American football was too dangerous, and she didn't want him getting injured at such a young age.

Dad was convinced he'd never get injured.

Mom thought otherwise.

Dad argued that becoming a professional someday would be good pay.

Mom didn't want that good pay to come at the cost of personal injury.

Dad insisted that this was what their son wanted to do.

Mom wanted the words to come from their son's mouth.

Sousuke, fifteen-years-old and naive, sided with his Dad.

He could still remember the look of worry, concern, and hurt on his Mom's face. Back then he didn't care about anything else other than the excitement of being on a football team. He'd seen the matches on TV with Rin, sometimes even watched them live with his Dad, and he couldn't understand why his Mom didn't want that for him. Rin's Mom was okay with Rin playing in the same team, she even said that Rin was very capable of taking care of himself, and he hated his Mom for not having that same type of outlook.

For his first year on the high school team, he tried his hardest to prove her wrong. When they won the prefectural, he gladly told his Mom to pack her bags because he was going to Nationals. She smiled and told him she was proud, but she still had that look of concern on her face that irritated his teenage self. When they were preparing for Nationals and his Dad made him train to the point of tears, he had stubbornly refused the offers of cake and massages from his Mom. When they lost, he cried for an hour, and his Mom sat beside him on the bed and told him they'd win next year.

He trained harder, his Dad pushing him to do more than a normal teenage boy should, unaware that while he slept like a log every night his Mom and Dad were yelling at each other in the privacy of their room. He started to accept his Mom's cakes now, grateful when she massaged his aching muscles, and beaming when he saw her among the crowd at his games. He didn't notice how strained she looked when she smiled back, or how she clutched her chest whenever he got tackled.

They won Nationals that year, and he started getting the attention of the collegiate teams. His Dad had been so proud, he kept boasting on how his son was going to get scouted one day, that Samezuka University was already saving a spot for him on their team even though he was still a second year. Rin had been scouted too, and the thought that they would be together at Samezuka University made Sousuke so excited he ignored the hurt and worry that was bubbling inside his Mom. He instead soaked up his Dad's praise, and before he knew it, he had driven his Mom so far way she couldn't reach him anymore.

She left them when he was about to start his third year of high school.

That time, seventeen-year-old him was hurt, furious, and betrayed.

Now, four years later, he was jealous.

He wanted his Mom to take her with him, wherever the hell she was right now. He wanted to apologize for not listening to her, for not thinking about his future more, for not appreciating the worry and love and care that she showered him with all those years ago. He had so many things he wanted to ask her, and at the same time, there were so many things he wanted to her to know.

Would she tell him "I told you so" once he tells her football wasn't really his passion?

Would she get mad at his Dad for the harsher new training regimen?

Would she allow him to stay with her if he wants to?

Would she--

_Would she approve of his relationship with Makoto?_

 Sousuke sighed and stepped out of the shower. Drying his hair off, he wandered back into his bedroom and somehow got himself dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt. He sat at the edge of his bed, elbows resting on his thighs, hands laced together. His Dad would be calling him soon, but he needed this time to think.

* * *

Makoto hiked his belongings higher as his twin siblings launched themselves at him, clutching him so fiercely he could feel himself stumbling backward. "It's nice to see you too, Ren. Ran." He giggled, twisting his body at the hip to wave at Haruka and Rin. "Would you two like to come in for a while? I'm guessing Mom has tea prepared."

"It's okay, Makoto." Haruka answered, giving the twins a small wave. "We've got to go."

"Haru-nii, who's that?" Ran asked, letting go of Makoto to stand beside Haruka, her gaze taking inventory of Rin. "Ran's never seen you before, Mister."

"Ah!" Ren spoke up, walking over to his sister. "That must be Haru-nii's boyfriend! Mako-nii talks about him sometimes, remember?"

"Eh? Ran thought Haru-nii's boyfriend lived in Tokyo!" Ran countered, scrunching up her face. "Why is he here?"

"I'm here to meet Haru-nii's parents." Rin replied, crouching down to the twins' level and grinning. "I'm Matsuoka Rin, nice to meet you both. Makoto's been talking about me, huh?"

"Only a little!" Ran giggled, stepping closer to Rin. "He just mentioned Haru-nii had a boyfriend. We don't know much about you."

"Ran speaks in third person." Ren informed, also stepping closer. "I'm Ren, by the way. Your teeth are sharp."

"Ooh! They are sharp!" Ran echoed. "How do you kiss with them?"

"You don't kiss with your teeth, Ran."

"Yes you do, Ren!"

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Alright you two, you're distracting Haru-nii and Rin-nii." Makoto interrupted, scratching the back of his neck. "Sorry Rin, they're kinda--"

"Curious?" Rin finished, grinning wide. "Don't worry, I don't mind. But yeah, you don't kiss with your teeth, sorry Ran."

Ran puffed up her cheeks as she looked at her twin brother, the latter smirking and murmuring "I told you so" under his breath. Makoto looked at the twins then at Rin, mouthing an "I'm sorry" at his friend who just replied with an amused laugh.

Haruka sighed fondly, reaching into his messenger bag for two gift-wrapped boxes. "Merry Christmas." was all he said as he handed the boxes to the amused ten-year-olds.

"Thank you, Haru-nii!" They chorused, Makoto ushering them back into the house once they finished hugging their thanks to Rin and Haruka.

"Are you sure you don't want to come in?" Makoto asked again.

"Maybe tomorrow?" Rin replied, casting a look over Haruka. "I'm really nervous about this meeting the parents crap, to be honest. The faster I get to meet them, the better. Like ripping off a band aid, you know?"

"You don't need to be nervous." Haruka insisted. "They'll like you."

"You really think so?"

"Yes."

Makoto stood there awkwardly, trying not to stare as something passed between his two friends. It made him wonder if other people felt like this when he and Haruka had silent conversations. It felt like intruding on a private moment. Haruka and Rin probably forgot he was even there.

He should probably just turn around and leave.

"Makoto?"

He pasted a smile on his face, meeting Haruka's eyes only to see a whirl of concern in them. "Yes, Haru?"

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, Haru."

Haruka looked like he wanted to say more. Rin placed a hand on the shorter boy's shoulder, distracting him. "We should probably go." Rin turned his attention back to Makoto, giving him the last smile of the day. "We'll pick you up tomorrow afternoon, yeah?"

"Yeah." Makoto waved at them, turning to his house before he could catch any more concerned looks they aim his way. He all but threw himself into the house, leaning against the closed door as he listened to their footsteps grow fainter. He let out a sigh of relief.

They were likely still worried about him.

He didn't want to talk about it right now.

After leaving his shoes in the entryway, he followed the sound of his siblings' voices, smiling fondly when he found them in the living area. They knelt in front of the Christmas tree in the corner, arranging the presents under it to make room for more.

His Mother waved to him from the kitchen. She then pointed to the twins still rummaging under the tree. "You should put your own gifts under the tree, Makoto." She said, her voice carrying the feeling of home Makoto had missed while at University. "You know those two love seeing gifts piled up together."

 "Nii-chan!" Ran chimed right on cue, making both Mother and son stifle giggles. "Come on, put your gifts down! Come on!"

Makoto knelt between them, opening up his bag of gifts, placing his parents gifts directly under the tree, but handing the twins their respective ones. They both took turns shaking their gifts to try and guess the content, then exchanging with one another to repeat the process. Seemingly satisfied with their inspection, they propped the gifts next to Haru's.

Before Makoto could move the paper bag away, Ren caught sight of the content left inside. "There's still presents left, Nii-chan?" He asked, reaching for the bag. He took out two identical presents, both wrapped in red and blue paper. "Woah! They seem pretty heavy."

"Hmmm, more gifts?" Ran joined in, leaning over Makoto to get a closer look. "Who're these for, Nii-chan? Do we get more gifts this year? Oh, Ran hopes we get more gifts this year!"

"What did we do to deserve more gifts though?" Ren, ever the worrisome one, asked.

"Sush, Ren. We get more gifts! No reason to question it."

"But still--"

"Ren!"

Makoto chuckled, taking the two gifts from Ren before the two started arguing again. "Alright you two, no need to argue." He half-heartedly scolded. "These are Rin and Haru's gifts. I'm giving it to them tomorrow, so don't open them, alright?"

"Alright!" The twins chorused, satisfied with the answer.

Makoto replaced the gifts back into its paper bag, grabbing for his duffel and slinging it over his shoulder. He passed by the opening that lead to the kitchen, and he would have continued pass it on his way to the stairs, but his Mother looked concerned as she gestured for him to come closer. Wondering why his Mother had called for his attention, Makoto abandoned his quest for his bedroom and walked over to her instead.

"What is it, Mom?" Makoto asked.

"Did anything interesting happen at school, dear?"

Makoto almost choked.

His Mother turned all his attention to him, her soft emerald eyes showing the same amount of concern Haruka's had. He began to make a mental inventory of himself, wondering if his demeanor had somehow given his Mother a hint of what happened yesterday. Were his hickeys showing? No, he was still wearing the long sleeves and scarf. Did he appear sad? Maybe, but he's smiling right now, it shouldn't be obvious. Had Haruka tell her something? Haru didn't even set foot in the house. Had he let anything slip? He couldn't think of anything. Could his Mother read minds? No, that was impo--

"Makoto?" His Mother's gentle voice cut through his errant thoughts. "Are you alright? You're all stiff, dear. You're usually more upbeat than this. Did something happen while you were away?"

"N-Nothing happened, Mom." Makoto lied. "I'm just tired."

"Did you overwork yourself again?" His Mother shook her head at him. "You know your Father and I would happily help you out with your expenses if you just ask. Don't strain yourself, dear."

Makoto almost breathed out a sigh of relief. Talking about work and expense was safe. It didn't involve feelings he couldn't understand. He could do this. "It's okay, Mom. I can handle things. You two have Ren and Ran to take care of."

"You always put others ahead of yourself, Makoto. One day that good trait is going to get you into trouble." His Mother teased, wagging her finger at him. "There are times when you've got to put yourself first, okay?"

Makoto blinked.

This was not how he expected this conversation to go.

"Oh. Uh. Uhm." He stuttered as his Mother continued to point her finger at him, a mischievous smile on her face. "O-Okay?"

"Good." His Mother giggled. "Rest up a bit, I'll call you down when I need your help."

"Eh?"

"Go on up to your room now, dear. The twins will assist me. You can rest."

"Okay."

Makoto scratched the back of his head as he resumed his earlier mission of going up the stairs. He wondered if his Mom knew more than she was letting on. The conversation earlier just seemed too peculiar for him. His Mother had looked concerned when he waved him over, but had easily let him off the hook. She usually questioned him more, eventually getting him to talk about whatever was bothering him. It was strange of her to settle for Makoto's petty excuses. Makoto was missing something, he was sure of it.

Just as Makoto reached his room, an email came buzzing in to Haruka's phone. He left Rin with his parents in the living room, offering to prepare tea and snacks for them in the kitchen. Slipping his phone out of his pants pocket, he opened it up to read an amused text from Mrs. Tachibana.

_You were right, Haru-kun. Makoto **is** acting strange. He's all stiff, even with the twins. I wanted to ask him about it, but he doesn't seem to want to talk. I wonder if he's thinking about this Sousuke-kun you mentioned. Hmmm, maybe Makoto will tell me more about him after resting, ne?_

Haruka smiled to himself. Makoto's Mother had secretly given her email address to him when they left for University, instructing him to contact her if Makoto ever found himself in trouble. For three years all he'd ever sent her were holiday and birthday greetings. There hadn't been any incidents where he had to inform her about Makoto.

Until now.

Haruka pocketed his phone, pleased that he'd done his part. Makoto might have been able to keep him from asking questions, but Haruka knew better. It was only a matter of time until the other boy confessed everything to his Mother.

* * *

It was already dark by the time Sousuke finished his run. The houses in his neighborhood had lit up their Christmas lights, bathing him in hues of red, gold, and green. He loitered in front of his house, staring up at the white structure devoid of any Christmas decorations save for the wreath that hung on their front door. Christmas cheer was apparent everywhere, but Sousuke couldn't feel any of it.

Inside the house was a lone Christmas tree, pushed up against one corner of the living room. It was decorated to the best of Sousuke's ability, which meant a single golden garland, colorful balls of different sizes, and an old star. The space under it was empty. They didn't really do gifts anymore since his Mom left.

"Dad! I finished my run!" Sousuke yelled at the general direction of the kitchen, brushing his fingers across a cracked star that sat atop the Christmas tree.

"You didn't strain yourself, did you?" His Dad's voice replied. "Can't have you straining those muscles, Sousuke. Pace yourself correctly, got it?"

"Yeah. I got it."

"You sure you got it? You've been exercising too much today."

Sousuke's brow twitched. "Who do you think told me to do that, huh, Dad?!" He spat out, his anger clear in his voice.

"I'm just looking out for you, son." His Dad appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, his brows knit together. "If you just truthfully reported your training schedule to me, like I asked you to, I wouldn't have doubts like this."

"Shit, Dad, what do you--"

"I called Captain Mikoshiba earlier. He said he didn't see you in the gym yesterday. You told me you didn't miss Arm Day. You obviously weren't working on your arms in the gym yesterday, Sousuke."

Sousuke let out a frustrated groan, raking his hand through his sweat-dampened hair. "What, can't I work on them elsewhere? Why do I even have to do this shit? I'll be fine in the game without any of this!"

_"YOU THINK YOU'LL BE FINE?!"_

Sousuke braced himself.

"You think you can just skip out on a day and still be in top shape for a game?!" His Dad was screaming now, throwing his hands up in the air. "Have you learned nothing for all these years, Sousuke?! You weren't born a genius or a prodigy, son! You train! You train and train and train until you're good enough!"

"Are you saying I'm not good enough?!"

"You will _never_ be good enough!"

Sousuke felt like he was kicked in the gut. He wanted to scream, kick something, punch a wall, throw a goddamn tantrum. He wanted to throw whatever shred of love and respect he had left for his Dad out the window. He curled his fingers into a fist, gripping tight until his knuckles turned white, reining in his anger.

He refused to let his Dad make him lose control.

"What do you want me to do, Dad?" He spat out, voice cold. "Want me to train 'till I drop dead?"

"Of course not!" His Dad scoffed. "Just train like I tell you to."

"Sure. Till I dropped dead."

"Careful with that attitude of yours, Sousuke." His Dad warned. "Who do you think helped you get where you are? You would have never gotten that scholarship of yours without my help. Let's not mention the spot on the National Team. Where would you be without me?"

"With Mom."

His Mother was a touchy subject, and Sousuke knew bringing her up would only make his Dad angrier, but right now he couldn't give a fuck. "I'd be with Mom." He continued, meeting his Dad's gaze. "Maybe for her, I'm good enough."

"If you were good enough, she'd have taken you with her." His Dad countered, hitting him where it hurt most. "She left, Sousuke. She didn't even leave an explanation. She hasn't even tried to contact you. You think she cares about you, about us? She doesn't."

"Oh, and you care?"

"Of course I do. Everything I do, I do for you, son."

"For me to be good enough?"

"Yes."

Sousuke shook his head. "Yeah, right."

"Sousuke-"

"All you care about is yourself, your failed dream, and nothing else."

He didn't wait for his Dad to reply, just turned his back on the older man and ran out the door. He didn't look back as he ran past the lively houses with their colorful decor, ignoring the way he longed for the warmth he knew these kinds of homes had. The sound of his Dad calling for him grew fainter and fainter, until Sousuke couldn't hear him anymore. His legs burned just from the effort of keeping him upright, and he collapsed by the side of a nearby building. He managed to run pretty far, to the point of not recognizing any of the buildings around him.

He patted the back pockets of his shorts for his cellphone, glad that he didn't forget to stuff it in before starting his run. He flipped it open, scrolling down the contacts for Rin's name. He pressed "call".

_"Hey, it's Rin. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but I'm kind of busy. Leave a message after the--"_

Sousuke just about threw his phone.

Damn it. Rin was at that Nanase's place.

He groaned, running his free hand through his hair, gripping the black strands tight as he let his head fall back on the stone wall. He could leave a message, but who knew how long it would be until Rin read it and replied. He needed to talk to someone immediately. Someone who could make him forget everything that happened earlier. Someone who could distract him enough that he---

Makoto.

He could call Makoto.

Scrolling through his contacts, he stopped at Makoto's name.

He could call him. He could press the button. He--

He didn't.

His drama wasn't something he could spring on Makoto. He'd promised to call him, yeah, but he couldn't put a damper on the shorter boy's Christmas Eve. It would be selfish of him. Makoto deserved to have a happy Christmas Eve with his family, even if it meant Sousuke wasn't a part of it. The angel didn't deserve all the baggage Sousuke had. He was too good.

He was too good for Sousuke.

Flakes of white started falling from the sky, coating the empty streets in a light sheet of snow. Sousuke shivered, not from the cold, but from the thoughts forming in his mind. He slipped his phone back inside his pocket. He had no one left to call now. He was alone. Hugging his knees close, he thought over his situation.

He was a wreck.

He didn't know what he wanted to do with his future, and he didn't want to follow the future already set out for him. He had all this drama with his family, resentment bottled up for his Dad and jealousy directed towards his Mom.  He didn't know how to work for a relationship, choosing instead to dump the other party once he was bored of them. He wasn't "a cut above the rest" or  "a superstar in the making" like those cheap gossip magazines made him out to be. He was just like everyone else; a tired, confused, and struggling college student. There was nothing amazing about him at all.

There was nothing he could offer Tachibana Makoto.

Makoto was love and warmth and acceptance and everything Sousuke wanted but couldn't have. Makoto scared him, overwhelmed him, made him feel things he didn't know he could. Makoto probably wasn't as perfect as Sousuke made him out to be, but Sousuke hadn't had someone look at him the way the brown-haired angel did in a damn long time.

Smiling to himself, he thought back to the first time he was greeted by those beautiful green eyes. It was early during the first semester when he had managed to steal some time from himself. The moment he stepped into the school library and caught sight of the brown-haired boy behind his desk, a feeling of content settled in his heart. He still couldn't explain how that happened, and no matter how many hours he spent reading up on books, not one of them could explain what he felt that day. He spent every ounce of free time he had at the library, strategically seating himself in a spot perfect for observing the awkward boy in glasses. He considered himself lucky whenever he saw the boy around campus, and just the sight of him greatly lifted up Sousuke's entire day.

Looking back on it, he must have already been falling for Makoto Tachiba every time he saw him.

And now that he knew what the boy felt like, sounded like, tasted like...

He had to let go.

If they both fell any farther, it would be bad. Very bad.

What if Makoto started to worry about him as much as his Mom did? What if Makoto asked him to quite football like his Mom did? What if Makoto got sick of him and his desire to please his Dad that he left? What would Sousuke do then? Would he be able to let Makoto go? Would he give up his Dad's dreams and follow his own? Was he even strong enough to do that?

He didn't know the answers to any of these questions.

He wasn't sure if he even wanted to.

"I fucked up."

The snow fell thicker now, piling up on Sousuke's head and shoulders. He shook it off as he stood, knowing that if he stayed outside in what little layer of clothes he was wearing he was sure to freeze to death. He didn't want to go home yet. The last time Sousuke didn't give his Dad enough time to seethe, he had to wear sunglasses for a week to hide the bruise the older man gave him. There was nowhere he could go right now.

Unless...

Swallowing his pride, he reached for his phone again. He didn't need to check his contacts, for he knew this person's number like he did the back of his hand. The phone started ringing, and before he could change his mind and drop the call, the other line picked up. Sousuke didn't wait for the person to speak.

"Obaa-san. It's Sousuke. I need help."

* * *

Delicious smells greeted Makoto's senses as he walked down the stairs, stopping on the bottom step to observe his family. His Mother was bustling about the house, carrying plates of varying sizes from the kitchen to the living room. The twins were following right behind her, each balancing a stack of plates, listening intently as their Mother gave instructions. His Father stood by the stove, keeping watch over the two pots with their simmering goods. Makoto wondered if he could do anything to help, feeling more than a little guilty for having fallen asleep.

"Makoto, you're up!" His Father greeted him as he made his way to the kitchen. "Your Mother was just about to wake you. Are you okay now? If you're still tired, you can sleep some more."

"I'm not tired anymore Dad, thank you." Makoto replied, looking over his Father's shoulder at the contents of the two pots. "Can I help with that? I feel bad just standing here."

"Makoto! Good thing you're up!" His Mother interrupted, breezing into the kitchen. "Your Father needs to get some things from the cake shop downtown, don't you dear?"

His Mother tugged at his arm, keeping him from seeing his Father's confused expression. "Oh honey, I ordered a cake, remember?" His Mother chided sweetly, tugging Makoto closer. "Take the twins with you, alright?"

It took a few seconds for Makoto's Father to get the message, but when he did he flicked his glasses to signal his understanding. "Oh, right!" He winked at his wife, patting Makoto's back as he passed by on his way to the twins. "Come on you two, we need to get that cake before someone buys it. How long did the baker said they'd hold it for you, dear?"

"Oh, thirty minutes or so!" Makoto's Mother replied, reaching across him to turn off the stoves.

"Okay, got it." His Father nodded, taking both twins' hands in his own. "You two can eat some of the cake if you want."

The twins rejoiced, excitedly putting on their winter coats and boots. Makoto watched, confused, as they waved goodbye and left. He turned to his Mother, still latched onto his arm, waiting for an explanation. She sighed up at him, letting him go to place both her hands on her hips, raising her chin in what Makoto had dubbed her "Mom Pose". This only meant one thing: A Lecture.

"Tachibana Makoto, what is this I hear about you meeting some handsome young man while you were away?" She pinned him with her gaze, the emerald eyes he inherited from her sparkling with mischief. "Now if you try and dodge this question, you know I'll just go pester Haru-kun about it."

He blinked at her, his ears hearing the words but his brain not understanding them. "H-Haru?" He spluttered as the realization hit him. "Haru told you about Sousuke?!"

"My, my, my..." His Mother giggled. "So his name is _Sousuke_..."

He flinched. There was no way he was getting out of this one.

"That cake you told Dad to get was a lie, wasn't it?" He sighed, frowning at her. He grabbed one of the stools pushed against the kitchen counter, sitting himself on it with defeated resignation. "You could have just told me you wanted to talk."

"Aha, but I did!" His Mother replied, reaching for the stool across his. "I asked you earlier if something happened at school, but you told me you were just tired."

"I _was_ tired, though."

"That's why I let you off easy, dear." Concerned laced his Mother's tone, and he accepted the hand she reached out to him. "You looked like you really needed the sleep. Call it Mother's intuition, but I could tell you weren't feeling like yourself, even if Haru-kun hadn't told me about it beforehand. The question now is if you're rested enough to tell me all about this Sousuke."

Makoto bit his lower lip, avoiding eye contact. "Do I have to? I mean, Haru's already told you--"

"Haru-kun didn't tell me _everything_ , dear."

"But, Mom--"

"Makoto."

Makoto took a deep breath, letting it out in a loud 'huff' as he stared at the wall behind his Mother. "I don't really get it, Mom." He began, fiddling with their laced fingers. "We were practically strangers until two days ago. Isn't that too fast to get attached to someone? My life isn't a yaoi manga, Mom. It isn't unrealistic. I had plans, and I wanted to stick to those plans, but then he came along and I just--"

"Makoto, darling, slow down!" His Mother shook her head, smiling fondly as she untangled their fingers to grip his shoulder. "Why not start your story from the beginning, alright?"

He told her everything.

He told her how he struggled to pay the apartment bills when Haruka left to live with Rin, quitting his part-time job for one that paid more but also took up almost all his free time. He told her how tired he was. How often he contemplated of just going back home. How the only thing keeping him in University was how much of a waste it was to quit just when he only had one year left.

His Mother looked at him sympathetically. She patted his shoulder, urging him to continue speaking.

He told her how he never once resented Haruka for leaving. He did, however, confess that he was jealous - so very jealous - of Haruka and Rin's relationship. Seeing them almost every day made it hard to ignore the way the two boys completed each other. Makoto's heart ached whenever Haruka and Rin exchanged silent glances, because once upon a time he was the only one who could communicate to Haruka that way. But now there was Rin, and the red-haired boy brought out sides of Haruka Makoto had never seen before.

He wanted someone like that. Someone who could bring out sides of him he never knew he had. Made him do things no one in the world would have thought he was capable of. Completed him in the way Rin completed Haruka.

He told his Mother that was probably the reason why he jumped without looking. Now he was falling too hard, too fast, and he didn't know how to stop. He wasn't even sure he wanted to stop.

"Nothing makes sense anymore, Mom."

His Mother said nothing, only stood up to continue preparations in the kitchen, doing this and that while Makoto stared at his laced fingers, willing himself not to cry. The silence stretched for a long while, suffocating Makoto, making him want to stand up and scream for his Mother to just say something.

Say something.

Anything.

Please.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone, Makoto."

He looked up and saw her there, standing beside the meticulously laid out dinner table. Her green eyes were devoid of the sparkle of mischief they had earlier. They were instead sad, wet, looking at Makoto the same way Makoto was sure he was looking at her. She hadn't even had the change to fully outstretch her arms before he was there in her embrace.

She had to lift herself up on her tiptoes to lace her arms around her son's neck. He was so much taller than her now, his height surpassing that of his Father's, broad shoulders and a solid back reminding her that the Makoto she held in her arms was now a man.

But, and she thought of this fondly, he would always be the darling little boy. The little boy who was afraid of things that went bump in the night. The little boy who was always so nice to people around him. The little boy who quickly hid himself from strangers.

He was her darling Makoto, but right now, he needed to act like the man he already was and pull himself together.

Well.

Right after he finished crying unto her shoulder.

"Are you done crying now, Mako-chan?" She smiled, patting his back once before sliding her arms down his neck to grip at his shoulders. He pushed him back, giggling at the sight of such a tall boy - man - with tears streaking down his face and snot dripping down his nose. "For goodness sake, sweetheart, wipe your nose. It's unsightly."

Makoto sniffled, making a move to wipe his face with his sleeve, stopping when his Mother clicked her tongue at him before giving him a clean napkin. "T-T-Thanks Mom." He stuttered, smiling weakly at her. "It's really silly for someone as big as me to cry."

"No it's not, Makoto." She gently chided him. "Everyone needs to cry once in a while. It cleanses the soul, or so I've read in a book your Dad bought me."

"I think I'm feeling a little, uhm, _cleansed_ right now." Makoto shrugged sheepishly. "I still don't know what to do about this situation, though."

"Oh, there's only one solution, Mako-chan!" His Mother sing-song voice echoed through the near-empty house. "You!" She pointed at him, winking. "Go call him."

* * *

Sousuke sat at the Matsuokas' kitchen table, cradling a mug of hot chocolate in his hands. Rin's little sister - Gou - sat to his right, stealing covert glances at him from the rim of her own mug. He made sure their eyes never met, knowing that if they did, Gou would accept that as an invitation to pester him with the questions he was sure were dancing around in her mind. He sighed, hanging his head down. He really didn't want to answer any questions right now.

"Drink up, Sou-chan! You were freezing, you know! Gotta get warmth back into those bones of yours!"

Sousuke bristled at the sound of Kyou Matsuoka's voice, frowning into his drink as the elderly Grandmother placed a plate of Christmas-themed cookies in front of them. Gou immediately grabbed for one, chewing it thoughtfully as she continued to regard Sousuke with unabashed curiosity.

Sousuke began to regret ever calling the Matsuoka Matriarch.

"Now Sou-chan, will you finally tell me why you were sitting out there in the snow?" Kyou smiled down at him. She placed an arm on the back of his chair, leaning well into Sousuke's personal space that he knew she wanted him to talk.

Gou sat up straighter as well, picking up another Christmas cookie to find something to do with her hands. But she ate slowly, carefully chewing after each bite, so Sousuke knew she was listening intently as well.

At least Rin's Mom was working overtime at the hospital. It was unfortunate, but Sousuke didn't really fancy having the third Matsuoka lady listening in on his worries.

He sighed.

No one quite fussed over him like Rin's family.

Well, except maybe Ma---

No.

Don't think of him.

Not anymore.

"Sousuke?"

"We had a fight. He told me I would never be good enough. I told him all he cared about was himself. Then I ran out of the house."

Sousuke expected a surprised gasp, a shocked squeal, maybe even an outraged lecture. What he didn't expect was for the two Matsuoka women to remain calm, exchanging knowing glances, nodding as if they had come to some sort of agreement. Gou excused herself from the table, squeezing Sousuke's shoulder before making her way up to her room, leaving him to deal with Kyou.

The elderly woman crossed her arms, sighing heavily.

"Really, Sousuke?"

He flinched.

"It's not my fault, he--"

"You really let him talk to you like _that_ and you didn't _punch him_?!"

"Huh?"

"You should've punched him!"

"What--"

"Straight in the face."

"But he's my Dad--"

"So?"

A long silence stretched between them, broken only by the sound of Gou's laughter echoing from her room.

Ah. That was why she excused herself.

"You're always so respectful, Sou-chan." Kyou sighed, shaking her head. "Even when you were a little boy, you never voiced out your own opinion, always did what you were told."

Sousuke ducked his head, at a loss of what to say.

"You had this sparkle in your eyes, and you hung unto every word your Dad said." Kyou continued. "You were so excited about playing, almost as excited as Rin, but not quite."

Sousuke let out a soft chuckle. It was true. Sousuke might have been excited about playing back then, but Rin was completely crazy about it. There were days when everything Rin talked about was football, leaving Sousuke to listen and nod.

"You probably hadn't figured it out back then, but your Mom was concerned about you." Kyou's tone became solemn as she regarded Sousuke with a concerned look. "She was always calling here, you know. Asking if Rin could tell her about the latest game, if he could make sure you took care of yourself on the field, if maybe Rin could convince you to take it easy, if--"

"I pushed her away."

The house was quiet again as Sousuke felt his anger and stress catch up with him.

"She cared about me, but I pushed her away."

"Oh, Sou, you didn't--"

"I chose my Dad over her."

"Yes you did, but--"

"I chose him over her, how is that not pushing her away?!"

He could feel could visibly see his own knuckles turning white at how strong he was keeping his hand clenched. He took deep, long breaths to calm himself. He raised his voice at Kyou. No one raised their voice at Kyou. He slowly raised his head to look at her, bothered by the fact that she didn't look angry or offended.

She looked as if she understood everything going on with him.

He didn't even know what was going on with him.

"Sousuke." She spoke calmly, maintaining eye contact. "You didn't push her away. You might think you did, but it wasn't you. Stop blaming yourself for this. This isn't even why you're here, right?"

"But--"

"It's okay, Sousuke." She reached over to hold his hand, running her wrinkled fingers over the back of it, waiting until he relaxed and opened them. "Why don't you calm down and tell me why you're really here?"

Just like that, as if some sort of dam broke inside him, Sousuke told her everything. From when he started getting tired of playing football, to the first time he saw Makoto dashing through the field. He told her how jealous he was of Rin and Haruka's relationship, and how he would like to have one with Makoto. He told her he was afraid of disappointing his Dad, but that he didn't care about disappointing him anymore. He told her he didn't want to mess things up with Makoto, but he didn't know exactly _how_ to be with him.

By the time he finished talking, he was breathing hard, like he just finished a marathon or something. He couldn't hear Gou anymore upstairs, but he had a feeling she was still listening. He was surprised that he didn't mind Rin's little sister knowing about his problems. If she was going to tell Rin, that was fine too.

He waited for Kyou to say something, literally anything. She was lost in thought, closing her eyes and nodding.

Was she trying to process all the information Sousuke had just given her?

Oh god, Sousuke hoped she wasn't going to lecture her anything.

He basically just came out to his bestfriend's Grandmother.

Shit.

This was a mistake.

"Oba-chan?"

Kyou opened her eyes, ruby irises glinting with hidden mischief.

Sousuke gulped.

"Why don't you go call this boy and tell him everything, Sou-chan?"

* * *

Makoto sat at the edge of his bed, his feet drawn up and tucked under him, his arms clutching his phone like a lifeline. His heart was beating loud in the silence of his room, and his thoughts whirled so fast in his head he didn't have time to focus on one before he began thinking of another. He'd managed to forget it earlier, drowning his doubts and thoughts of Sousuke in the sound of the twin's laughter and his parents well-wishes. It was past midnight now and his family was asleep. He couldn't keep running from them forever. Not when he promised his Mom he'd call Sousuke when he was alone.

He stared at the phone in his hands, turning it over and over, weighing the pros and cons of his next decision. He couldn't help but feel that his story was moving too fast. Maybe whoever was writing it forgot what they had originally planned for him? Maybe they had no idea how fast they were rushing things? Makoto couldn't understand why they couldn't just have him slowly adapt to this relationship.

Shaking his head, he couldn't help but let out a frustrated sigh. Why the hell was he thinking of himself as some character in a story written by someone else? This was his story damn it, and he was going to progress it the way he wanted. He was going to call Sousuke himself, the writer of his life should just go jump in a lake.

He was just about to type in Sousuke's number when the phone began to ring and vibrate in his hands.

Makoto almost dropped it in shock.

Looks like the writer of his life had other plans.

"Makoto?" Sousuke was surprised. He didn't mean to call late, it's just that he figured Makoto would be asleep by now. He'd convince Kyou that he'd call when he was alone, enduring her teasing of him chickening out and not calling at all. She even made him stay the night, calling his Dad and telling him he was safe at the Matsuoka household. She didn't tell Sousuke what exactly went on in that conversation, but Sousuke really didn't want to know.

"Sousuke?" Makoto's voice shook just as much as his hand. He scooted backward on the bed until his back hit the wall, drawing his knees up so he can rest his chin atop of them. He could hear Sousuke's breath against the phone, sending little tingles of sensations up his spine. Seriously, now was not the time to get aroused. "I'm glad you called."

A low chuckle permeated from the device. "Didn't I tell you I would?"

Makoto giggled, feeling himself loosen up. "I didn't know you'd have the chance to get away from training."

Sousuke hummed, leaning back against the headboard of Rin's old bed. It was embarrassing really, how his bestfriend's Grandmother practically forced him to sleep in the room. Sure, they didn't have a guest room, but Sousuke was more than okay with sleeping on the couch. He couldn't help but zone out in this room, looking at all the personal things Rin had strewn about.

"Sousuke?" Makoto snapped him out of his reverie, bringing him back to their conversation. "Are you there?"

"Yeah, yeah." Sousuke sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Did you enjoy getting home for Christmas?"

"It was fun. The twins were really excited to see Haru again, and they were both so interested in Rin's teeth!" Makoto laughed, recalling the day's events. "What about you, Sousuke? How was your Christmas?"

"I, uhm." Sousuke scratched the back of his head, unsure where to start. "I actually wanted to talk to you about that."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I don't know."

Makoto chuckled lightly. He could feel Sousuke's jittering nerves through the phone. It was reassuring, knowing that the other man was just as nervous as he was. "Hey, wanna know something?" He said softly, easing Sousuke into what might possibly be the most important phone conversation in his life. "I told my Mom about us."

"W-W-What?" Sousuke choked out. "Y-You told her? Ev-Everything?"

"Hmm. Yes, I guess?"

"You guess?"

"Well it's not like I told her in detail how you fu--"

"Makoto!"

Makoto had to cover his mouth to keep his laughter from waking up the entire household. "S-S-Sorry!" he wheezed, clutching his knees closer to his chest. "I didn't tell her that, uhm, _event_ in detail. But I did tell her it happened."

"Oh my god." Sousuke groaned. "Does she hate me?"

"No. She didn't say much about you, actually."

"Oh yeah? What'd she say, then?"

"She told me to call you."

"Funny. Rin's Grandma told me the same thing."

"Rin's Grandma?"

Sousuke paused, realizing he'd let Makoto lead the conversation. "Uhm, yeah... I'm currently staying at Rin's place."

"Oh?" Sousuke could tell Makoto's interest was piqued, and he braced himself for the question he knew was coming. "Why aren't you with your Dad?"

"Yeah, well..."

"Sousuke."

"I sort of ran away from home."

A silence settled between the two of them as Makoto tried to think of what he could possibly say. "Would you--" he ventured, biting his lip. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Sousuke sighed. It was now or never.

"Yeah." He finally said, closing his eyes. "Let's talk about it."

Sousuke told Makoto everything. He just kept talking and talking, something he felt he'd been doing almost the entire day. He didn't pause for Makoto to respond. He didn't want to hear what he had to say. At least, not yet. Not when he's pouring his heart out like this. Not when he's at voicing out all his insecurities. Not when he's at his weakest. By the time he finished talking, the clock on his phone read 2:00 a.m.

An hour and a half.

He'd been talking for an hour and a half.

God.

"Makoto?" He whispered, almost afraid of breaking whatever it was that had fallen over them. "Makoto, are you still there?"

A sigh.

"Yeah. I'm here."

Sousuke waited for him to say more.

"I'm glad you told me all this." Makoto began, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Why, though?"

"I don't know." Sousuke confessed, laughing at himself. "I just felt like I could tell you. That you wouldn't lecture me like Rin does, or judge me like the student body does. I have an image to keep, you know."

"Oh?" Makoto chuckled. "I don't really care about your image."

"Yeah, I figured that out."

"Just so you know, I share your insecurities." Makoto continued, stretching his legs out in front of him, feeling a sense of comfort coming over him. "Not really the family issues part, but the part about us. We're going too fast, aren't we?"

"Yeah." Sousuke agreed. "Way too fast. I thought you had some ground rules set up."

"Ugh." Makoto scrunched his face up. "Don't remind me."

"You broke your own rules, huh?"

"Fine, okay! I broke my own rules."

"Woah, Tachibana, didn't know you were such a criminal."

"S-Shut up!"

"I wouldn't mind you breaking those rules more often, though."

"Sousuke!" Makoto laughed, letting himself fall sideways on the bed. "We're going out of topic again!"

"Sorry, sorry." Sousuke placated, his tone not sorry at all. "So, do you regret it?"

"Regret what?"

"Going too fast?"

Makoto thought about it, running his mind through all the things Haruka and his Mother had told him earlier. Slowly, he realized none of them had reprimanded him for what he did. His Mother only told him to talk to Sousuke. Haruka even seemed like he was encouraging him. They didn't make him feel like what he did was a mistake. "No..." Makoto replied, smiling to himself. "I don't regret it."

Sousuke, despite being miles away, returned his smile. "I don't regret it either." He admitted, moving around till he lay flat on his back on the bed. "But I do want to take things slow from now on."

"I do too."

"But that doesn't mean I'm opposed to ever fucking you again."

"Really, Sousuke?! Really?!"

"What? I'm being honest here."

"But you aren't being mature, that's for sure."

"Ouch, Makoto, you wound me."

"Let's start off with a date."

"Will it end like the last one? 'Cause I really want--"

"Okay, no. I'm stopping you right there."

"But--"

"A _proper_ date. One where we actually go out and talk about stuff we like, get to know each other."

"Do we fuck afterwards, or?"

"Sousuke!"

"I'm just teasing you!" Sousuke laughed out loud, not caring that Gou could probably hear him. His (actually, Rin's) room was right next to her, after all. She was probably reporting everything to the shark boy. Sousuke was in for a long lecture when he got back. Speaking of... "There's the upcoming game this Friday? You could come watch, and we'll have your 'proper date' after."

"You're not going to try your best to get me in bed, are you?"

"As much as I want to, I won't. I want to see you when I talk to you."

"That's... That's really sweet, actually."

"Hey, I just miss you."

"It's been a day."

"I know. I'm weak and sappy. Are you happy now, Makoto?"

 "Yes. I am. I'm really happy."

"Then my job here is done. Go to sleep. It's late."

"Thanks for calling me, Sousuke."

"Thanks for listening to me, Makoto."

"So, this Friday. Your big game."

"Yeah. Be my cheerleader?"

"Hmm. Fine. I will."

"Nice. See ya, Makoto."

"Bye, Sousuke."

_I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very _very_ late update. Like, almost three months late. I am so very sorry for this, but a shit ton of things happened with me. I won't go into detail here, but if you guys are really curious and want an explanation for the delay, feel free to ask me about it on Tumblr. I tried so hard to get this chapter finished, and I hope you still like it!! Thank you for waiting!!


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